Yuletide guide: How to stress less this Christmas
PRESENT-giving is one of the many stresses of Christmas. Along with an Instagram-worthy Christmas tree, not stuffing-up the stuffed turkey and surviving the in-laws. Here’s how to make it to Boxing Day with your sanity (and dignity) intact.
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REMEMBER that horrible reindeer jumper? The one Colin Firth’s character, Darcy, sported in Bridget Jones’s Diary? I want one for Christmas.
Not Darcy, but his festive knit.
Ugly Christmas sweaters are in. Thought I’d give one to my hubby. Problem is, I can’t knit; don’t know my purl from my knit stitch.
Present-giving is one of the many stresses of Christmas. Along with erecting an Instagram-worthy Christmas tree, sending off religiously neutral Christmas cards, not stuffing-up the stuffed turkey and surviving the “out”-laws.
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Add to the mix the fact we’re all time-poor, coupled with the social media obsession with perfection, and no wonder we end up feeling like Christmas crackers ready to pop.
So what are the tips for surviving — and staying nice — this silly season?
First, outsource all those impossible jobs. Second, cut corners. And finally, maintain your manners.
Let’s start with outsourcing. It’s no longer a dirty word. This is shown by the success of companies such as Airtasker — the peer-to-peer jobs platform that is just a fancy way of paying someone skilled to perform your dirty work.
Louise Mitchell fancied giving a family member a handcrafted cardigan for Christmas. Alas, like me, she can’t knit. So she turned to Airtasker.
“I wanted the jumper, but I don’t have the skills. So I bought the wool, found the pattern and posted the job online,” Mitchell says.
A talented lady called Karen answered the call and whipped up the knit in time to place under the tree — and all for a reasonable fee.
“Once you’ve signed up to Airtasker, you can post a task to describe what you need done and local people will make an offer to complete the task,” Airtasker CEO Tim Fung says. “You can take a look at their profile to see their badges — including ID verification, police checks and trade licences, past reviews and completion rates.”
Airtasker is bursting with festive season requests and people willing to fulfil them.
The posted job demands are varied. Need someone to write 500 Christmas cards? Done, for $550. Want someone to pick up three boxes of seafood from the David Jones food hall market at 8am on December 24? Someone else will complete the job for $120.
Can’t be bothered decorating your Christmas dining table? Get in someone who can — for $60. No job is too big or too small.
Any parent knows convincing a busy Santa to assemble a trampoline on Christmas Eve is a recipe for divorce. Guess what? Someone will do it for you for $160. That’ll save Mr
and Mrs Claus’ marriage.
“We see a massive increase of trampolines, cubby houses or play sets to be assembled so that when the kids wake on Christmas Day they can be ready to play right away,” Fung says. “This also saves parents from spending their Christmas Eve battling with instructions trying to put it together.”
Airtasker can, of course, work in reverse, helping cash-strapped Aussies make a buck this festive season. The Commonwealth Bank estimates Australians will spend $955 each over the holiday season. So if you have the necessary skill set — or merely patience — you can answer a job and get paid to do someone else’s chore.
Christmas pressure extends beyond presents, decorations and trampoline assembly.
There’s an expectation the lunch has to look cookbook-worthy. I call it the turkey selfie phenomenon. You know, my turkey is better, bigger, juicer and more tender than yours. Just ask my 4000 closest friends on social media.
So rather than slave over a hot stove — which, let’s face it, is ridiculous in summer — why not get a little outside help?
“Not all of us are great cooks, and even if we are, we may not have the head space or energy to whip up Christmas lunch,” says Ana Kolembus, owner of catering company Your Private Chef.
“Whether you would like a fully catered feast with all the trimming, or just the turkey, we have Christmas covered.”
Some people may baulk at the cost of outsourcing Christmas lunch.
“Well, if you’ve battled the traffic for an hour, finally found a park, made it to the butcher, paid for your meat and taken time to prepare and cook it — when you factor in all those costs, it’s often cheaper to get someone else to do it,” Kolembus says.
Has outsourcing lost its stigma?
“Definitely — 100 per cent,” she says. “In the past customers would say, ‘Look, I’m a really, really good chef, but …’ as if they have to explain themselves.
“It’s not like that any more. People want to enjoy the entertaining experience, socialise with guests, spend time with their family and friends. Not spend all day cooking, and all night washing up.”
So … if you’re hosting Christmas lunch, is it wrong to pay someone else to cook and deliver the meal and pretend you cooked it yourself?
“We deliver and it’s pretty easy to hide the boxes,” Kolembus says. “It depends what’s expected of you. If you’re going to be judged
by your guests, do whatever makes you less stressed. And that’s what we are all about.”
With 16 sleeps until the big day, it’s time to get smart about Christmas preparations.
Rather than go mad buying lots of little presents for everyone, agree on a Kris Kringle — from the Austrian and German Christmas gift-bringer Christkindl, the Christ child.
It’s a type of gift exchange — you buy a present for one person in the group and receive one back from someone else.
It not only helps stamp out rampant consumerism, it means you walk away with (hopefully) one thoughtful gift instead of 15 terrible ones. Just make sure you set a price for each gift.
Finally, use your manners at Christmas.
“It’s time for graciousness. Repeat all those lovely common courtesies people are forgetting to use today,” etiquette expert Susie Wilson says.
That starts with acknowledging Christmas invitations.
“There is nothing ruder than guests who forget to RSVP,” Wilson says. “If you are fortunate enough to have been invited somewhere for lunch, accept or decline the invitation with grace.”
Once accepted, never ever go anywhere empty-handed.
“Add value. If someone has invited you to their place for Christmas, ask your host what they need and how you can contribute,” Wilson says. “It’s about caring for that person.
“If you’re taking children, sit down with them beforehand and talk them through basic manners.”
And don’t forget the handwritten thankyou note — old-fashioned, but never forgettable.
If you’re the host, Christmas courtesy means taking into account everyone’s needs — from allergies to personality clashes.
“Think about seating arrangements. If Uncle Sam is the one cracking all the bad jokes, place him where he’s going to be less problematic; next to someone hard of hearing, your whingeing aunt, someone who annoys you — just not someone you wish to impress,” Wilson says.
Don’t take on too much as a host. You don’t have super powers. If a guest offers to help, accept it.
In fact, be specific. Say, “Yes, I would love it if you could bring the flowers or a bottle of wine.”
And don’t be ashamed to delegate. That means getting that slack relative to help with the washing up.
There is a growing trend of dining out for Christmas lunch. From pub roasts to ritzy seafood buffets, countless venues are prepared to host you and your family — and even do the washing up. But this form of celebration has proved so popular, most venues are already booked out this year. So book now for 2018.
If you must do the cooking, why not consider a cold lunch of delectable seafood and fresh salads? I’ve never understood Australia’s stuffy obsession with northern hemisphere-appropriate roast meals.
Too often I’ve witnessed my poor mum melting over Christmas turkeys in 35C heat. A cold buffet ensures you stay a cool host, too.
“It’s an event. Once it’s all over you can put your feet up, and have a couple of glasses of champagne,” Wilson says.
So I’m going to secretly pay someone to knit that reindeer jumper. And cook my turkey. Then I’ll treat myself to a cheeky champagne or two. Just don’t tell anyone.
TRENDS: FASHION TIPS FOR CHRISTMAS PARTY SEASON
SURVIVING THE WORK CHRISTMAS PARTY
WE are in the midst of office Christmas party mayhem. Even though you’re socialising, remember it’s still a work activity, a business function.
There is still a standard to which one needs to adhere.
There are ways to navigate this social minefield. From experience, and with the help of a manners expert, here’s the ultimate work party etiquette guide.
Follow these tips and you won’t wake up the next day drowning in a pool of regret.
LIMIT YOURSELF TO TWO, MAYBE THREE DRINKS
“Do not take the words “free bar” as a personal challenge. If after three drinks you’re confident, five you’re hilarious and seven you’re a demon ready to wrestle naked, then set your bar at three for the duration of the evening,” etiquette expert Susie Wilson says.
MAKE SURE YOU EAT A PROPER MEAL
Canapés don’t cut it. It’s always best to eat a proper lunch or dinner ahead of a notable occasion.
PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE
This is not the night for drunken or provocative photos — of you or your poor unsuspecting colleagues.
DON’T UNDERDRESS
“The only item of clothing you should remove is your jacket. Exposure of any kind should
be avoided. Lean towards conservative in all things, but especially in your choice of fancy dress,” Wilson says.
DO NOT PICK UP
There are websites for that. Office-flings-gone-sour are painful.
DON’T BUST OUT CRAZY DANCE MOVES LIKE DAVID BRENT IN THE OFFICE
In fact, don’t do anything Brent would do at a Christmas party.
NEITHER GOSSIP NOR OVERSHARE
There is such a thing as too much information. And don’t demand that pay rise from your boss.
DON’T BE THE LAST PERSON TO LEAVE
Know when to bow out gracefully. “The last one left standing is the one least likely to be standing come January,” Wilson says.
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