Mum’s plea to Anthony Albanese to change Family Law Act so she doesn’t have to co-parent with an abusive partner

An Aussie mum ordered to co-parent with her violent abuser despite their kids being scared of him, is now calling on Anthony Albanese and Mark Dreyfus to act. See her video.

A mum of four says she has been forced to co-parent with her violent abuser for more than a decade, while her children have been made to visit their father, even after telling the family court they were scared of him.

The teacher – who cannot be named due to court orders – said women are being controlled by their abusive ex-partners long after they have left the relationship.

She has decided to speak out in support of the government’s proposed raft of amendments to the Family Law Act, which includes focusing on what is best for the child by removing the presumption of equal shared parental responsibility.

She said many domestic abusers misuse that responsibility to disrupt their victim’s lives. They may deliberately object to simple decisions about their child’s school, health, where they live and even where they go on holiday.

“I’ve got two and a half years left of what I call, ‘my sentence’,” the mum said.

“I’ve had to co-parent with my abuser.

“But when my youngest turns 18 I won’t have to deal with him again. I will be free at last.”

Forced to co-parent with her abuser, a mother of four is speaking out against the Family Court system. Picture: Tony Gough

That landmark date will be the first time in 15 years that she won’t have to communicate with the man who was convicted in 2014 of kicking her with his steel toe capped boots. The woman claims the man also raped her. He was found not guilty of that charge in a trial.

In a video plea to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus (watch above), she called on them to consider changes to the Family Law Act, which has left women like her “unable to breathe anymore”.

She said her abuser stole “11 years of joy” that has continued under a broken legal system.

“The system has done the same thing to me as he did for the past 12 years,” she said.

“The system has made me feel vulnerable, unheard, powerless, and the constant showers of victim blaming have ripped me to my core. Wake up Australia!”

Full Stop Australia Advocacy Manager Angela Lynch, said there are exemptions that stop domestic abusers from having shared responsibility or visitation rights, but the current law favours equality if at all possible, especially if the violence has not been directed at the children.

She said the reforms are long overdue.

Injuries sustained by the woman from being kicked with a steel-capped boot.

“Eighty per cent of court matters involve allegations of family violence and 70 per cent involve allegations of child abuse, and yet contact with the abusive parent is ordered in 97 per cent of matters,” Ms Lynch said.

She said their hope was that by removing the presumption of equal shared parental responsibility, perpetrators of domestic abuse won’t be able to manipulate the system to cause harm.

She said giving shared responsibility to one parent does not mean the other parent can’t see their child if it has been deemed safe, it means they don’t have a legal say in decisions about their lives.

Bill Kordos from Australian Family Lawyers agreed the current system allows “abusive people to abuse their partners from afar”.

He supports many of the recommendations in the draft bill, but said the pendulum has swung too far the other way, “undoing some of the brilliant work in the reforms of 2006”.

“It waters down the importance and significance of the co-parenting philosophy and reinforces the stereotype that the family court is pro-women,” Mr Kordos said.

The Victorian mum said her ex steadfastly refused to allow their children to have their own passports, which meant their daughter could not go on an overseas school trip and they have never been abroad as a family.

Her former partner also moved closer without telling her, but still made her drive two hours to his previous home to drop them off.

“The law needs to change,” she said. “My abuser has manipulated the law to control me after I found the courage to leave him.”

PROPOSED CHANGES TO THE FAMILY LAW ACT

The proposed law will focus on the individual needs of each child

As part of the proposed reforms, the Government is repealing the presumption of ‘equal shared parental responsibility’. If these proposed changes become law, judges will still be able to make orders for shared parental responsibility and equal time – but the decision-making process for this will be more clearly focused on the best interests of the child.

Making the list of ‘best interests of the child’ factors clearer

At the moment, when the court must consider a lengthy list of factors. The draft Bill simplifies this list to six factors.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children

The proposals state that parenting arrangements keep a connection to culture.

Making it clear when a parenting order can be changed

The draft Bill makes it clear that a parenting arrangement made by a court can only be changed if there has been a significant change in circumstances since the order was made. .

Hearing children’s views

The proposals will make it a requirement, in the majority of cases, for Independent Children’s

Lawyers to meet with children to make sure their views are considered when the court makes parenting arrangements.

Proposed new court powers to protect people from the harmful effects of litigation

The Australian Law Reform Commission is concerned about the misuse of the family law system by perpetrators of family violence. This can involve submitting multiple applications without merit in order to control, threaten or harass a former partner. The draft Bill includes two new powers for courts to better protect people from the harmful impacts associated with litigation.