Men risk missing out on children by delaying starting a family: research

MOST men want children as much as women do, but risk missing out by putting “conditions” on when to start trying for a baby, Melbourne research shows.

Men who want children may be putting their chances of fatherhood at risk by putting off trying for a baby. Picture: iStock

MOST men want to have children as much as women do, according to Melbourne research, but many risk missing out by placing “conditions” on the timing.

A review, by Dr Karin Hammarberg of Monash University’s Jean Hailes research unit, into 46 international studies found when young men were asked if they wanted to become fathers “most” said they wanted “at least two children”.

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But many delayed starting a family, thinking they needed “a full-time job and a good economy” in place first.

The study, “Men’s Knowledge and behaviours relating to fertility”, found many men did not have a good understanding of how age of either gender affected fertility.

“Men want to have children as much as women do, and they expect to have children — fatherhood is really important to them,” said Dr Hammarberg, who works for the Victorian Assisted Reproduction Treatment Authority.

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“But they have limited knowledge and understanding of fertility — male and female.

“They think women’s fertility starts to decline at about 40 — but (in fact) that is pretty late already.”

She said men were also optimistic about the potential of IVF treatments to help them and their partners conceive after the age of about 37.

“There’s a lot of reliance on technology, when in reality there’s nothing IVF can do with age-related infertility due to the biological decline of eggs and sperm; the age factor is not amenable to treatment,” she said.

“Even when you ask very young men, ‘Would you like to have children and like to be a dad?’, 90 per cent say yes.

“They expect they will one day become parents, but then it’s a matter of coming to the decision and making it happen.

“Sometimes men want to have a pretty extensive adolescence and shy away from responsibility.

“A lot of things take longer these days but biology catches up with us.”

She said a desire to do a lot of things first and put “barriers” up before starting a family meant they put their parenting hopes at risk because “that equation doesn’t add up”.

The studies of men across high-income countries (where people used assisted reproductive technologies) found men who missed out on parenting children but wanted them, grieved for the loss of opportunity.

“We looked at men who had been diagnosed with infertility and had been able to have a child and those who hadn’t (been able become fathers),” said Dr Hammarberg.

Five years later, the mental health of the men who couldn’t have children was worse than those who had.

“If you want to have children and it doesn’t happen, it is equally sad for men and women and affects their mental wellbeing,” Dr Hammarberg said.

She said it was important that men and women were better informed about fertility and that they examined what was preventing them from actively participating in the choice to start a family.