Melbourne Cup hero Michelle Payne reveals her battle with depression

RACING hero Michelle Payne has spoken of her battle with depression, revealing she was stalked by the “black dog” after a horrific race fall.

RACING hero Michelle Payne has spoken of her battle with depression.

Payne, 31, has revealed for the first time she was stalked by the “black dog” after a horrific race fall early in her career.

“I definitely felt the depression going through the first injury where I fractured my skull and had the head injury, because I was not myself and I did not know if I was going to make a full recovery, despite the doctor saying I would,” Payne said.

“Your life comes to a sudden halt and all of a sudden you go from doing your job, which you love, and riding every day, and it is pretty hard to take on.

“You go through a stage where you question it; why did this happen to me? and I think that is very normal. I am happy to say I got through it.”

Payne has spoken of her personal challenges throughout her racing career as she takes on the role of Patron of the National Jockeys Trust.

The “black dog” stalked Michelle Payne after a horrific race fall. Picture: Nicole Garmston

Payne’s first serious fall at Sandown in 2004 resulted in bleeding on her brain and post-traumatic amnesia.

She said despite the severity of the fall she never wavered from her desire to make it as a top rider.

Danger is inherent with racing and Payne has had plenty of harrowing moments, including a fall at Mildura in May last year in which she fractured three vertebrae, lacerated her liver and split the pancreas.

“For me (after the 2004 fall) it was not a question, I was always coming back to riding and the doctors did say I would make a full recovery and I was very committed to making a comeback and doing what I loved,” she said.

“But I guess the last fall was the first time in my career where I have questioned if I should come back or not.”

Payne, who won the 2015 Melbourne Cup on 100-1 outsider Prince of Penzance, said the National Jockey’s Trust played a vital role.

The NJT provides support for former and current jockeys, and their families, following a serious injury, illness or death.

“To be a patron is really special to me,” she said.

“Every jockey at some stage of their career has had a fall where they have been put in the position where they need help and it is so comforting to know that the National Jockey’s Trust is there.”

Since 2004 the Trust has provided assistance to more than 300 jockeys.

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