Fashion Critical on the 2017 Logies fashion

FAMED anonymous fashion blogger Fashion Critical is back with a vengeance to deliver a hilarious, no-holds-barred roast of this year’s Logies frocks and shocks.

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FAMED anonymous fashion blogger Fashion Critical is back again, this time to give their no-holds-barred verdict on this year’s Logies frocks.

FASHION CRITICAL ROLLS OUT THE OSCARS DREAD CARPET

Here is their sassy critique of Australia TV’s night of nights.

Carrie Bickmore. Picture: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

CARRIE BICKMORE: Be still my beating heart: Carrie looks absolutely SMOKING. The colour, the cut, the twirl. This would not go astray on the Oscars Red Carpet, let alone Australia’s, ahem, entertainment “night of nights”. She looks breathtaking.

Yael Stone. Picture: AAP Image/Joe Castro

YAEL STONE: Um. I love this bird on Orange is the New Black but PLEASE, NO. This, my friends, is the dress that Austin Powers rejects. Please remove the sleeves, the buttons, the fabric, change the length …. Actually, could you just get changed please? I see the kinda 60s vibe that she’s going for, but it’s a no for me.

Shelley Craft. Picture: Julie Kiriacoudis

SHELLEY CRAFT: Oh my. This is lovely. Loving the black and navy and the velvet is very on trend. I know this, because I went into Witchery and they had a navy velvet dress. A+ Shello.

Gorgi Coghlan. Picture: AAP Image/Joe Castro

GORGI COGHLAN: Honestly, WHERE does the tulle end and the person begin? Who decided this outfit was a good idea? Here’s hoping she hasn’t consumed any liquids today as she will NOT be fitting this into the cubicle. #prayforgorgi

Sophie Monk.

Pictures: AAP Image/Joe Castro.

SOPHIE MONK: That awkward moment when your spanx and your dress have gone through the ol’ Janome together and come out as one. I feel like if you can’t do a cut out as an actual cut out, just don’t do it. I have bad and sad feelings towards nude ice skater’s material.

Lauren Phillips. Picture: AAP Image/Joe Castro

LAUREN PHILLIPS: Laura Ashley is making formal wear these days? This is a little bit too “Nanna’s bed spread for me”. I actually love the pussy bow neck and perhaps in black or a single jewel tone this could have worked but overall, the look leaves me unmoved. Also, TOESSSSSSSS

Rebecca Judd. Picture: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

REBECCA JUDD: Okay, can anyone tell me what exactly is going on here? Has her dress given birth to ANOTHER dress? Should red and pink lace EVER be seen together? We always expect BIG things from Juddsy when she’s on the red carpet. She’s one of the fashion-iest celebs in the biz, so she’s always going to go boldly, but this is an AWWWW HELLL NO for me.

Susie Elelman. Picture: Hamish Blair

SUSIE ELELMAN: This is actually massively low-key for Susie. I’m loving her grey pixie do sick. This is one way to rock a grey do ladies. As for the rest of it, ummmm. I think the suit could have been tailored better and I would have for SHNIZZLE chosen a different shirt and shoe. Which I think means, that I am displeased.

Lee Elliott and Georgia Love. Picture: Julie Kiriacoudis

LEE ELLIOTT and GEORGIA LOVE: Oh look. It’s the MONSTERS who broke Matty J’s heart. Putting my deep soul wound aside, Georgia and her bachy-bloke are looking glamorous to the max. That tux makes me ALMOST want to forgive him for killing true love as we knew it. Her frock is lovely. Beautifully cut and love the red lip. Go forth and be happy, you MONSTERS.

Jessica Rowe does a twirl. Picture: AAP Image/Joe Castro

JESSICA ROWE: I’m sure there are probably more flattering pics of Miss Rowe floating around so let’s focus on the frock. This is very Florence and the Machine meets Memoirs of a Geisha. I think it’s actually quite pretty, but definitely too flouncy for this red carpet. She would rock a more simple gown, I think.

The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Picture: Julie Kiriacoudis

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MELBOURNE: SOOOO many frills and flounces and tendrils and shoulders and shininess. Is there any makeup left in all of Australia? It is difficult to critique so many outfits, so I’m going to focus on the fact that one of these women has made a severe fake tan/leg bronzer miscalculation.

Amber Sherlock. Picture: Instagram

AMBER SHERLOCK: Ode to Khaleesi? Or Princess Leah? I don’t think there’s enough person to fill out the top half of this dress. I feel this is wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. Or already happening. I’m not sure.

Australian actor Olympia Valance. Picture: AAP Image/Joe Castro

OLYMPIA VALANCE: I have STRONG feelings about the turban head thingo, and the dress is clearly WAYYYYY too hectic for the Logies, but somehow I don’t mind it. I sure would have liked to see the frock styled differently. Lose the headwear and a sleek top do would have made this slightly less cray-cray.

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