Couple determined to build a family turn to IVF, surrogate

Hayley and Nick Penno had to climb the medical and IVF equivalent of Mount ­Everest to complete their family, after being thwarted by chronic illness, infertility and medical emergencies over eight years.

Hayley and Nick Penno had to climb the medical and IVF equivalent of Mount ­Everest to complete their family, after being thwarted by chronic illness, infertility and medical emergencies over eight years.

But tomorrow, on Mother’s Day, the couple will relish time with their latest addition, 11-week-old daughter Millie, thanks to the generosity of her best friend who acted as their surrogate.

“We sit back several times a week and go; can you believe we’ve done this?” Mrs Penno said.

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“I feel complete. I’ve achieved the impossible.”

Mrs Penno almost died in Year 12 from a toxic inflammatory bowel disease, needing her large bowel removed in lifesaving surgery.

The teenage sweethearts, who met working at their local supermarket, stuck ­together through her chronic illness and turned to Melbourne IVF’s Associate Professor Kate Stern to help conceive their first child.

That pregnancy, seven years ago, almost killed both mother and son. Mrs Penno needed her gallbladder removed at 22 weeks gestation, and surgery to correct the five intestinal obstructions caused by her growing baby.

But, against the odds, both survived. They named their boy Mason after the Epworth Freemasons Hospital where Mrs Penno has been treated for indeterminate colitis since age 17, and where she had IVF and the birth.

Hayley and Nick with Mason, 7, and Millie, 9 weeks. Picture: Nicki Connolly

After 17 rounds of IVF over three years, trying for a longed-for second child, Mrs Penno’s surgeon stepped in.

“You’re pushing your luck,” Craig Murphy told her. “I barely got you through the last pregnancy, I can’t guarantee I can again.”

It was a heavy blow after the physically, emotionally and financially taxing slog of IVF, pushing Mrs Penno into a deep depression.

“How do you get on with life? Nick and I have a big house and we always pictured having five or six kids, but it wasn’t that way,” she said.

They turned again to Prof Stern, who suggested surrogacy. “The power of this story is just because things are ­difficult, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do them,” Prof Stern said.

A savour in the form of Mrs Penno’s best friend appeared, telling the couple in a Christmas card that, after seeing the love her two children had for each other, she wanted to give that gift to Mason.

Both couples had extensive counselling before they were approved by the Patient Review Panel to start treatment.

They also needed to explain the scenario to their collective three small children.

“Mason calls my tummy ‘broken’. We said I couldn’t have any more babies but a bit of Mummy and Daddy were put into our friend,” she said.

“Her kids were calling it Mason’s baby.”

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