Cocaine Cassie: I don’t really have any friends

Convicted drug smuggler Cassie Sainsbury says she doesn’t have any mates left as she adjusts to her “surreal” suburban life.

Convicted drug smuggler Cassie Sainsbury, aka Cocaine Cassie, has opened up about her new life, admitting she has no friends after her “surreal” imprisonment.

The new-look brunette admin worker insists she’s not a bad person as she settles back in her hometown of Adelaide with wife Tatiana whom she married in March last year after meeting in a Colombian nightclub.

“Since I’ve come back in August I’ve been trying to get my life together here,’’ Sainsbury, 28, said.

“Trying to get a job and move forward. I quite often get told that I’m a murderer, that I’m quite conniving and cold and don’t show remorse.

Sainsbury says her life back in Australia is “surreal”. Picture: Naomi Jellicoe

“People can’t show emotions because that’s a sign of weakness so I buried the sadness and I’d feel I pretty much got to a point where it would explode. I’m not this nasty person.”

Sainsbury was sentenced to six years behind bars when caught with a suitcase containing 5.8kg of cocaine in Colombia in April 2017.

She was released three years later from El Buen ­Pastor women’s prison. Strict parole conditions meant she was forced to stay there for another 27 months.

The silver lining was meeting Tatiana.

Sainsbury meet her partner Tatiana in Colombia after her prison release. Picture: Naomi Jellicoe

Sainsbury says she does not love people “staring at me” but is proud of what she’s managed to overcome.

“We’ve had our ups and downs, it hasn’t been an easy time getting employment and a lot of stress comes from moving countries,’’ she said. “But she lives with me, she works, and we’re enjoying being here. It’s been quite surreal.

“Friends, I don’t really have any, there’s family in bits and pieces. What got to me was I had friends writing letters supporting me and then on social media writing crap about me. It is what it is.

“(Prison) was hell. On so many different levels, whether you’re getting beaten up or the psychology of it all.

Sainsbury was busted with 5.8 kilos of cocaine in Colombia.

She spent three years in a Colombian prison.

“I had chats with Tatiana about it. I’m proud of myself for getting through everything on my own. I didn’t let it make me a bad person, I didn’t let it destroy me.”

Sainsbury has just made her first foray into reality TV as part of Channel 7’s new SAS Australia ­series filmed in the Middle East and to air later in the year.

Her reasons for participating in a brutal military-style show were to show who she really is.

“I didn’t watch much of the show but from what I did see that’s the gist of it. I didn’t stop my life to train for it, but for me it’s an opportunity to show people the version of me that no one gets to see. In front of any traumatic thing, it pushes me to just let go, and I put my hand up for what I’ve done.”

What Sainsbury endured will be the subject of a new tell-all and “raw” book she will publish this year.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to change anyone’s opinion,’’ she said. “I’m amazed at how stupid I was and how blind I ­allowed myself to be.

“It feels really surreal, like my life was on pause and the world keeps going and you’re the only one behind.

“It was life-changing and forced me to mature and made me a lot stronger and gave me resilience.

“It all happens a lot more than you think. I didn’t expect empathy but I really feel for people in those situations.

“For me it’s just focusing on all the good things I managed to get out of it.”

The one thing she values above all is freedom.

“It’s stressful sometimes because I’m playing catch-up and I feel I should be in a different position,’’ she said.

“I do feel free if I don’t want to do something I don’t have to. That’s nice.”