Bourke St massacre: Dad’s pain over death of victim Matthew Si

THE father of a victim killed in the Bourke St massacre has spoken for the first time of the silent torture his family has endured.

Dr Kheng Si with a bust of his son Matthew, who was one of six people killed in Melbourne's BourkeSt massacre. Picture: Steve Ferrier/The West Australian

THE father of a victim of the Bourke St massacre has spoken for the first time of the silent torture his family has endured.

Matthew Si, 33, was on his way back to work after having lunch with his wife Melinda when he was killed in January.

His father Dr Kheng “KC” Si said the worst agony was witnessing the confused cries of his little granddaughter, who does not understand why her daddy is not here anymore.

Matthew Si was killed in the massacre.

“Losing Matthew has been a torture for me and the whole family. There are no words to describe my pain and agony,” Dr Si said.

“But the deepest pain is when I see my 21-month-old granddaughter looking at Matthew’s photograph and call out ‘Papa’. When she gets no response the ‘Papa’ gets louder and louder.

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“Then she changes her yelling to ‘Daddy, Daddy, Daddy’ while looking at her mummy with tears rolling down from her big eyes. That is real pain and heartache. How long my daughter-in-law and our family have to endure that, I have no idea.”

Matthew, a talented and respected architect at a top global firm, was one of six pedestrians who died when a driver allegedly drove through the busy lunchtime crowd.

Dr Si said his son would want his loved ones to move forward enjoying life. A small 3D bust of Matthew, which one of his son’s friends made, has become one of Dr Si’s most precious possessions.

“This is what I’ve got of Matt, so I can have him every day now and no one can hurt him,” he said.

Dr Si said his son was a “gentle soul who had a smile for everyone” and touched many lives.

He said he wanted to thank everyone involved in helping Matthew, especially the couple that held his hands and stayed with him until the ambulances arrived.

While it would be easy for anyone in his position to be blinded by rage, Dr Si insists his family’s pain and grief had not turned into anger as it was not in their nature.

A sea of flowers laid in tribute to victims of the Bourke St massacre. Picture: Nicole Garmston

“I think what kept me and the family from being consumed by anger is the generous and compassionate support shown to us by the public,” he said. “In my mind, anger and revenge resolve nothing.”

Matthew’s employer Woods Bagot has set up a trust fund to help with his daughter’s education.

Woods Bagot chief operating officer Larisa Moran said Matthew “was at peace with everything that surrounded him, never pretentious, always authentic … he lived with purity and simplicity”.

Dr Si has yet to meet the families of the other Bourke St victims, but has a desire to and feels a strong affinity to them.

The victims include three-month-old baby Zachary Bryant, schoolgirl Thalia Hakin, 10, Jess Mudie, 22, an unnamed 25-year-old man from Japan, and Bhavita Patel, 33.

“I feel sorry and very sad for their loss. I know how painful it is and I am grieving with them. I hope they are coping,” Dr Si said.

Those who wish to donate to the trust fund for Matthew’s daughter can email [e-mail]