Backroom Baz: A heavenly weekend with Bernie
Liberal MP Bernie Finn says it was so good, he thought he had died and gone to heaven. Backroom Baz discovers what it was that got Bernie so excited.
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“It was so good, I thought I had died and gone to heaven!”
That was Liberal MP Bernie Finn in parliament last week, reliving his weekend to remember at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Sydney.
For the uninitiated, the get-together united right-ring commentators and politicians including former prime minister Tony Abbott and One Nation’s NSW leader Mark Latham.
It was, according to Finn, a “verbal smorgasbord of common sense and logic”.
His highlight was the speech of England’s Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage, prompting Finn to take to Instagram to ask: “Why hasn’t Britain made this man Prime Minister?”
Farage reportedly used his appearance to dub Prince Harry the “Prince of Wokeness” for his social justice and environmental campaigns with wife Meghan Markle.
He also described the late Queen Mother as an “overweight, chain-smoking gin drinker”.
It might have been meant as an insult but Baz would be happy to be remembered like that.
POLICE DROP WHISPERS
IT’S not often the subject of a police investigation would congratulate the person who made the complaint.
But preference whisperer Glenn Druery was in a chipper mood this week after learning that Reason Party leader Fiona Patten had called off the criminal probe into his activities.
Druery helped Patten achieve her first state election victory, but the relationship soured last year as he offered his unique services — for a handsome fee — to a gaggle of micro-parties, nearly ending her time on Spring St.
On the eve of the election, Patten launched a rocket, lodging a complaint about Druery with the Victorian Electoral Commission which was sent to Victoria Police, sparking extravagant headlines.
Druery told one of Baz’s spies this week that Patten’s “frivolous complaint” had “made her relevant” as she faced “political oblivion”. Praising her “win at all costs” attitude, he said: “She’s one of my best students.”
I’M DAVID AND I’M HERE TO HELP
Liberal leader in the upper house, David Davis, is always trying to help. Those less enamoured with the Double D’s ways might call it meddling, but Baz believes the Shiraz glass is half full.
The latest bit of selflessness from the wily MP is outlined in a letter he has sent to Burwood residents.
They are also the poor constituents left flapping in the breeze by the extended absence of their lower house MP, Will Fowles.
Fowles, as DD helpfully points out, is undergoing treatment for addiction issues and to deal with ongoing mental health matters after he kicked in a door at a Canberra hotel. “I am sure I join you in wishing Mr Fowles a complete recovery but, in the meantime, please feel free to contact me should the need arise,” he writes. Thanks David.
PARLIAMENTARY INK RUNS DEEP
In politics it’s important to have skin in the game and Baz hears one of Victoria’s parliamentarians intends to add another tattoo to his growing collection of body art.
That MP is double-earring wearing, vegan member for Western Victoria, Andy Meddick.
Already covered in tattoos on both arms and his leg, Baz has been told the ink-loving pollie is planning to surprise his wife with a new addition on his chest.
Apparently, Mr Meddick is keeping tight-lipped about the design, so stay tuned.
He’s not the only MP with hidden ink.
Liberal MP Brad Battin has some serious tattoos beneath his business suit, including a family tribute and a design created by his wife’s late brother.
Baz understands Battin will be discussing his body art in an upcoming episode of his new podcast series, including details of his first tattoo that was covered up long ago.
Other tattooed pollies include Labor MPs Paul Edbrooke and Harriet Shing — but Baz’s spies say there are more government MPs who are keeping their secret tattoos under wraps.
OVERHEARD
“We know cannabis is being grown; we are just not sure what has happened to it.”
Liberal Democrats MP Tim Quilty wants to find victoria’s medicinal cannabis crops
GUESS WHO
Which politician was recently spotted texting and driving? Not for the first time either.