Abby Gilmore: ‘There is nothing I won’t share’

HER life imploded when her footy star partner cheated on her as she struggled with their new baby. But former AFL WAG Abby Gilmore’s decision not to remain a silent victim came at a price.

ASK ABBY: Abby Gilmore is set to pen a new column for the Herald Sun.

ABBY Gilmore doesn’t do suffering in silence.

The former partner of premiership player Jake Stringer and mother to his two children never fitted the WAG mould where you are expected to be seen but not heard.

The millennial mother doesn’t turn the other cheek. Abby doesn’t filter.

THE TRUTH BEHIND MY SPLIT FROM JAKE STRINGER

Her life imploded over the years in which Stringer cheated on her countless times and in humiliating circumstances when she was nursing a six-week-old baby.

Abby chose to stop being the silent victim.

She fought to regain control of her life and find the strength to look after her two young daughters, Milla, 3, and the now 18-month-old Arlo.

She spoke out to let other people know she was proud and independent.

“I’m no more special than the next person,” she declares. “I learnt a lot in all my suffering. It was magnified and I faced everything in the public eye.

“I wanted people to look up to me, not to laugh at me. I didn’t want to walk around with my head down. I didn’t want to feel like a victim.”

ABBY GILMORE: MY POST-NATAL DEPRESSION FIGHT

Herald Sun's new columnist Abby Gilmore at home with her kids Milla, 3, and Arlo, 20 months. Picture: Alex Coppel.

Abby copped a backlash.

Speaking out about Stringer’s infidelities came at a price.

There was the humiliation of being sent X-rated images of the “Package”, as Stringer was nicknamed, from AFL groupies he had on the side.

There was his gambling addiction and what she sees as the toxic boys’ club mentality inside the AFL.

Abby’s revelations drew the ire, no scrap that, the fury, of many.

“I knew people would judge me and lash out,” Abby says. “I had a lot of people, the clubs, family members, managers who tried to stop and intimidate me. But I knew it was the right thing to do.

“When trying to create change, it’s always going to make people uncomfortable.”

Gilmore with close friend, Bulldogs player Jason Johannisen.

Abby chose to find strength in the criticism and railed against what she saw as the AFL “machine”programmed to keep embarrassing issues in the dark.

In doing so she has amassed a following of like-minded people on social media, people exhausted at keeping their own secrets behind closed doors.

“It’s not just about coming out of a relationship like I did. It’s about anxiety, depression, post-natal trauma, miscarriages, so many different elements of life,” she says.

“So much is still such a taboo subject. I hope by speaking out about my own pain it can help others to realise they are not alone. So many of us are all dealing with this weird-arse crap.”

SUSIE O’BRIEN: DON’T BE TOO QUICK TO FORGIVE A CHEATER

Abby Gilmore has joined the Herald Sun as an outspoken columnist to do just that. Not air her dirty laundry but to try to demystify what so many others find too hard to talk about.

“There is nothing I won’t share. I just want to connect with people going through similar things.”

Gilmore’s honesty came at a price. Picture: Alex Coppel.

Abby knows she is not everyone’s cup of tea. She isn’t bothered by that, which is refreshing in a world where peoples’ seemingly glamorous and perfect lives are celebrated on Instagram and other social media.

Abby wants to cut through. Nothing is off the table as she talks about her miscarriage or taking antidepressants when her depression was so bad after breaking up with Stringer that she couldn’t get out of bed to look after her children.

Abby has opened up about getting “her boobs done” to make herself feel more body confident.

She talks about meeting a couple of days ago the new girlfriend of Stringer, now with the Essendon Football Club.

With former partner Stringer at the 2015 Brownlow Medal. Picture: Michael Klein.

Gilmore doesn’t hold back, wanting to help others heal by sharing her experiences. Picture: Alex Coppel.

She tells of finding trust again in a new relationship and the toll of a messy breakup on her children.

“I’m not trying to be some rebel or some badarse WAG,” she says. “But when you are a part of that WAG lifestyle or whatever you want to call it, you represent the football club too. So you have to respect your partner and your football club. Now I have broken out on my own. You have to respect yourself,” she says.

Writing a blog (accordingtoabby.com.au) and running self-help workshops across Australia called Love Yo Self, Abby has discovered great strength in sharing her story.

“I feel so much stronger in who I am now. If I can help women who have lost their path and find confidence and self-worth from talking then it is all worth it.

“Sharing is my healing. I talk through everything and try and nut out the tough questions and really get through things. A lot of people suppress things through life and have to deal with it later.

“I am an open book.”

READ ABBY GILMORE’S FIRST COLUMN IN NEXT WEEK’S SATURDAY HERALD SUN

*Join Abby at her next Love Yo Self workshop on Friday at One Roof Australia, Southbank, from 6pm. Tickets trybooking.com