Yasmin Ilhan: Reporting rape should not be this harrowing

Reporting a sexual offence is challenging enough, and the added worry you may be dismissed by police should not be another barrier.

Yasmin Ilhan has spoken about her experience with reporting rape to police.

At 15 years old, I was raped. It was not the stereotypical rape that women are taught to be aware of; I was not pulled into a dark alley late at night and left covered in bruises.

I did not understand what had happened to me. I largely kept it to myself and pushed it to the back of my mind for years, until I studied sexual offences during my law degree.

At 21, I realised I had in fact been raped. I still dismissed it because I thought the particular circumstances of my experience meant it was not “real” rape. I told myself that people have it worse. A year later, I spoke to my partner about it and he helped me understand none of that is true; all rape is real rape.

I realised I needed to challenge the normalisation of sexual assault in society and work towards validating all different types of experiences that victims may have, starting with my own. I finally reported it in 2020.

I want to emphasise: it took seven years, a law degree, and an incredibly strong support system for me to feel comfortable making a report. It should not be this difficult.

The investigation was incredibly traumatic as I had to confront something I had been ignoring for years. I was then distraught and completely disheartened when the police decided there was insufficient evidence to pursue charges. I had opened up so many wounds over the past nine months and it seemed like it had all been for nothing.

It took seven years, a law degree, and an incredibly strong support system for Yasmin Ilhan to feel comfortable making a report.

The police’s handling of my case from that point onwards was unbelievable. Some of the reasons given to me for this decision were concerning and show the reviewing officers, in senior positions, fail to understand basic concepts of criminal law.

Most shockingly, I was told it was likely the rapist did not know it was rape at the time.

Having studied law and policing for years, I knew this was wrong and irrelevant. It is well established that ignorance to the law is not a defence. When I questioned this, the officer became defensive and spoke over me repeatedly. This left me in tears.

When I asked how the officer came to the conclusion that there was no clear lack of consent, he sarcastically asked me if I knew what was going on inside my rapist’s mind at the time.

He then explained to me that had the rapist been 14, he would have fallen below the age of criminal responsibility. Not only is this wrong as the age of criminal responsibility is 10, but it is also irrelevant as he was 15 (to my knowledge). This made me feel as though we were having two different conversations.

I had asked why he was not charged, and the officer’s response was to highlight irrelevant legal concepts. It gave me the impression he was trying to throw legal jargon in my face in an attempt to overwhelm or confuse me, hoping I would stop questioning him.

I was later told I was applying recent “learnings” from my law degree, which apparently “raises concerns” about how I feel now compared to how I felt at the time of the rape.

The police also claimed I refuted my own evidence.

I asked for further explanation regarding the relevance of my degree and for specific quotes from my statement to show where I refuted my own claims. The email response did not address any of my questions, and only said the case would be closed.

Police need to be better trained to speak to vulnerable victims

I was struck by their lack of empathy. I felt like I had not been heard by those who are supposed to protect me. The relationship between police and victims should not be one of unequal power where we are dismissed, but instead we should be entitled to understand their decisions by asking questions.

Police need to be better trained to speak to vulnerable victims. Reporting a sexual offence is already challenging enough, and the added worry you may be dismissed by police should not be another barrier. Senior officers should not be more concerned with defending their decisions than speaking to victims with respect. Whether he was right or wrong, this is not an acceptable way to treat victims.

While the police have highlighted that they directed me to appropriate support services, this does not give senior officers a “get out of jail free” card for their behaviour.

For these reasons, I made a public post about my experience with the police. I wanted to alert others to this reality. I wanted to make it clear to victims we are not defenceless, and we should be empowered to hold the police accountable for their decisions. But you should not need a law degree to do this.

Countless women have since reached out to share their own stories of assault, including their experiences with my rapist. Many have thanked me for giving them a voice. There has been a sense of desperation in all of these messages, as if victims are begging to be heard and taken seriously.

Others have told me my post sparked conversation among their friends and family about the pervasiveness of sexual assault and misogyny in society, leading them to reflect on our dismissal of victims but protection of assaulters. While I am happy to have encouraged this discussion, it should not be the case that one victim needs to speak out in order for others to feel heard.

It is unbelievable that so much work still has to be done, but I hope to utilise my experiences to work towards developing a criminal justice system that supports and values victims.

Yasmin Ilhan is a law and criminology graduate and is now studying her masters in London.