Wendy Tuohy: Sympathy for perpetrators of AFL sexual impropriety is misplaced

CLAIMS that “white, middle-aged men are afraid to talk to women” in light of the latest AFL sexual harassment episode are ridiculous. Respect is not that hard, writes Wendy Tuohy.

AFL men with outdated ideas need to adjust their behaviour.

ONE of the maddest reactions to yet another incident of sexual harassment or impropriety in the AFL is to paint the perpetrator as the “real” victim … I guess we should not be surprised.

“The rules” around how you treat women have been changing so fast that men are confused and struggling to understand what they are ‘allowed’ to do, goes the claim being made on talkback.

“Can a man even hit on a woman at all any more?” asked one guy. “White, middle-aged men feel they cannot even talk to women” for fear of accusations, said another.

This bout of “poor me-ing” has surfaced after it was revealed the Fremantle Dockers paid a young woman staffer an undisclosed sum to settle her claim of sexual harassment by coach Ross Lyon.

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Fremantle Dockers coach Ross Lyons.

It also follows the departure of a male employee forced out of AFL house in December after a string of sexual harassment complaints were made.

Treatment of women in and around the AFL “culture” is deemed such a problem the league instituted an anonymous complaints portal for offences involving women late last year as part of its beefed up Respect and Responsibility policy.

This came after the Richmond and the AFL suspended defender Nathan Broad for the first three games of this season after he shared a topless picture of a young woman wearing his premiership medal around her neck. It was done without her consent and caused her and her family significant trauma when it went viral.

It also followed two senior AFL staffers, football operations head Simon Lethlean and commercial general manager Richard Simkiss, quitting after having “inappropriate” relationships with younger female staff members.

Richmond's Dustin Martin. Picture: Michael Klein

Oh, and don’t forget on-field hero Dustin Martin allegedly threatening to stab a fellow Chapel Street diner in the face with a chopstick, “physically intimidating” her and causing her significant distress both at the time in her treatment afterwards.

This is just the stuff we get to hear about. As has been reported, many women affected by poor treatment in and around AFL footy do not come forward, having seen such poor handling by the league of historical complaints that they dare not speak out.

At least the league has admitted its past processes were sorely inadequate. But feeling concerned that men in the league may have no idea about what is permissible now is nothing more than a weak deflection.

Ask any guy how he would or wouldn’t want a woman he loves treated and they can tell you instinctively what is right and wrong. This applies across the generations.

The reason it matters how men in footy, in particular, are seen to treat women is because, like it or not, they are exemplars to boys about how to be good men. The cult of AFL does influence standards and that responsibility is part of the deal.

Richmond’s Nathan Broad speaks to media in the wake of the non-consensual sharing of a photo of a young woman, topless and with his AFL Premiership medal around her neck. Picture: Getty Images

Some claim this is too much to ask of for young guys living in a hothouse environment of testosterone and adulation, and no doubt feeling godlike in front of fans could blur lines.

But the league has had, and publicised to the Nth degree, policies around decent treatment of women. There is no excuse of confusion, least of all in the ranks of managers.

Yes, the #MeToo movement has brought issues around sexual harassment and poor treatment of women, especially women in less powerful positions on the receiving end, to the fore with huge speed and force.

Yes, many men are surprised to learn of the real impact on the women in their lives of harassment in all its forms.

And yes, it is absolutely not all men, or all men or even the majority of men in the AFL whose behaviour is at issue here.

Former AFL executive Simon Lethlean, pictured amid the scandal about “inappropriate” relations with a female junior staffer. Picture: Stuart McEvoy for the Australian

But also yes, it is pathetic to try to brush away the impact on women of sexual misconduct especially in situations where she is far less powerful, and focus on the hardship men are experiencing in the “new” world of fairness and decency.

The obvious fact remains it would be far easier for men, players, officials, football business leaders with outdated ideas about what is “OK” in their treatment of women to adjust their behaviour than it is for many women who have been impacted to recover from the ongoing affects — to their job, self-esteem and ability to feel safe.

Contact the journalist: email [e-mail], Facebook or on Twitter @wutohy.

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