Susie O’Brien: Karl Stefanovic and Jasmine Yarbrough’s Bora Bora holiday should be off limits
IT’S time to stop shaming Karl Stefanovic. So what if he is no longer in a relationship with his former wife and mother of his three children, says Susie O’Brien.
Susie O'Brien
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IT’S time to stop shaming Today host Karl Stefanovic. So what if he is no longer in a relationship with his former wife and mother of his three children?
So what if his new partner Jasmine Yarbrough is almost 10 years younger than him?
So what if they are now on holiday in tropical Bora Bora?
It’s no more or less than what millions of couples every year go through.
Granted, most of us don’t have $8 million waterfront homes, or spend our holidays on our billionaire friends’ yachts.
But when you strip away all the fancy trappings, Stefanovic’s tale is pretty unremarkable.
Man and woman fall in love, marry, and have three kids. They stay married then break up, and eventually one of them falls in love again. Frankly, what’s the big deal?
This is why I object to suggestions that Stefanovic is flaunting his new relationship in an inappropriate manner.
If he was a woman it would be called slut-shaming — a term usually applied to those who violate traditional gender norms by being overtly sexual or dressing in a revealing way. If it’s not OK to treat women like this, it shouldn’t be OK for a man.
And yet just about everything Stefanovic does when it comes to Yarbrough is portrayed as sleazy and inappropriate.
He and Yarbrough are not having a well-earned break, they’re on a “tropical tryst”.
They don’t share a meal, they indulge in a “lavish champagne-drenched lunch” before “flaunting their street style on a romantic stroll”. And it’s not a kiss, it’s a “steamy smooch”.
One media website, the Daily Mail, even photographed Stefanovic walking into a country caravan park with two six packs of pre-mix rum a few weeks ago.
The story, which noted that Yarbrough was “nowhere to be seen”, said Stefanovic “appeared to be settling in for a long night” with a female who turned out to be a work colleague and Today show producer.
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I don’t expect much more from the Daily Mail — after all, this is the site that criticised Sunrise host Sam Armytage’s “granny undies” that turned out to be bathers.
But I do expect more from respected female media types like publisher Mia Freedman and radio host Meshel Laurie.
Laurie recently jumped on the anti-Stefanovic bandwagon, calling him “insensitive and shameless” for “flaunting” his new romance.
I really like Laurie, but she’s wrong on this one. Stefanovic isn’t emerging drunk at 3am from strip clubs. He isn’t seen with a new woman every few days. He isn’t still married and sneaking around behind his wife’s back.
As far as I can see, he’s done nothing wrong except fall out of love from his wife of 21 years. This is sad, but hardly a crime. In any case, it may be completely mutual.
Although Stefanovic and Yarbrough have been photographed together from time to time — primarily for events linked to her work in the fashion industry — I haven’t seen anything wildly inappropriate.
Yes, breakups are always hard regardless of the circumstances, but this is a grown-up man who is getting on with his life in a dignified fashion. Why doesn’t his support of his new partner’s career count for something?
Radio host Jackie O expressed similar sentiments, accusing Stefanovic of leaving Cassandra Thorburn “for some young 20 year old and he’s cavorting around, kissing her, cuddling her, for everyone to see”.
One particularly offensive piece on the mamamia.com.au website suggested Thorburn was now “grieving” because her ex-husband has “moved on with a woman 10 years her junior”.
Clearly, Stefanovic and Yarbrough can’t win. They even hung out with their mothers recently, and still copped it for going on holidays without his kids.
A lot of outdated sexist stereotypes underpin much of this analysis. For example, the assumption that Thorburn right now is desperately unhappy and pining for her lost love; that Stefanovic is the one calling the shots and that he’s the one who’s in the wrong.
It’s wrong to assume the younger woman is the man-eater. That the long-term wife is the hapless middle-aged victim unable to hold onto her man. And that the husband is so ruled by his loins that he is unable to see how his behaviour is hurting others.
Maybe — just maybe — there’s another way to see it. Maybe Thorburn’s glad to move on with a new life, Yarbrough and Stefanovic are happy, and the kids are just fine adjusting to their new normal.
The reality is that the rest of us have absolutely no idea why the Stefanovic/Thorburn marriage ended. We don’t know if a financial settlement has been reached, and how the kids are doing. None of these things are anyone else’s business, but theirs.
I understand the interest in Karl Stefanovic, who’s a well-known public figure, but this is no excuse for blaming, and shaming him when we have no real idea what’s really happened in his private life.
Susie O’Brien is a Herald Sun columnist
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