Woke council anti-ageism campaign does more harm than good

Councils’ woke anti-ageism campaign makes older Aussies look like a ‘bunch of humourless idiots’, when they’re not, writes Susie O’Brien.

The anti-ageism campaign is doing old people a disservice, writes Susie O’Brien. Picture: iStock

This week I have been doing my best to become “ageism aware”.

For fear of offending others, I did not say Happy Birthday to a colleague or make fun about her getting a year older, even though it was her birthday and she was, in fact, another year older.

I did not engage in witty banter over whether my friend was in a Pfizer or AstraZeneca age bracket, even though the raising of the age for the AstraZeneca to 60 opened up some tantalising new avenues for humour.

I did not say: “Oh well, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” — even when I was training my pet dog.

And I made sure I didn’t laugh about having a “senior’s moment” when I drove down the freeway for 15km with my left indicator on.

These things, I now know, are not innocent chitchat but disturbing forms of prejudice that must be eradicated.

The EveryAGE Counts Campaign, revealed by the Herald Sun this week, has made me realise the error of my disparaging, discriminatory ways.

Thanks to a group of overactive socially-progressive councils, I already know not to say “Happy Christmas” even though I want people to have a happy Christmas. I will say “Season’s Greetings” instead.

Suburban councils have also taught me the importance of flying flags celebrating the Eureka Stockade, suffragettes, the West Papua Freedom movement, IDAHOBIT day and East Timor.

And I know not to use terms like “wife”, “husband”, “girl” and “boy” for fear of causing offence to domestically unattached, sexually diverse non-binary individuals.

I call these rules Council Regulations on Approved Pronouncements — also known as CRAP. How do councils have time to collect our bins and register our dogs when there are so many other vital considerations to occupy them?

Monash was the first to sign the anti-ageist pledge, committing to “stand for a world without ageism where all people of all ages are valued and respected and their contributions are acknowledged”.

Where’s their next campaign standing up for ratepayers who want council staff to leave us alone and do their jobs?

Actor Bryan Brown has been urging people to stop sending old people funny birthday cards.

Brown, until now best known for his sterling work on movies such as Cocktail and Along Came Polly, hopes “birthday cards with belittling ageist jokes will disappear and derogatory terms for old people will be as unacceptable as derogatory terms for race and gender”.

This means I will no longer buy my friend a card which reads: “Happy 60th. At this age, you may still get lots of attention from women — carers, as they are known”.

Or one that says: “I am not making any age-related jokes because I am genuinely sorry for how bloody decrepit you really are”.

Or “Age is just a number … although in your case it’s a pretty damn huge one”.

I’m so committed to the cause that I took an “Am I Ageist?” quiz to find out which category I fit into. I discovered I am an “accidental ageist” who may “accidentally say or do something to undermine an older person’s quality of life”.

Yikes. Sounds pretty serious.

OK, so I am having a bit of a laugh. Of course, we should treat old people with respect.

But such campaigns make old people look like a bunch of humourless idiots who take offence at birthday cards and cakes.

Many of the anti-ageism campaign suggestions are just ridiculous, insisting that calling old people “young” (as in “hello young ladies!”) is an “infantilising attempt at jocularity” rather than a bit of innocent banter.

They say “elderly” should be reserved for the over-95s and that terms like “over the hill” should only be used for geographical references. Sigh.

They forget that you have to laugh about things like getting older or you will go crazy. That sometimes the ones making jokes about having a “senior moment” are seniors. That old people use terms like “silly old chook” and “grumpy old man” to refer to themselves.

And that birthday cakes and cards with funny sayings are usually a sign that people love you and care for you, not of belittlement.

To assume old people are standing by, ready to be offended by jokes or cakes or terms of endearment, is doing them a grave disservice. (No pun intended — I wouldn’t dare.)

These crusaders are fighting for a world without ageism. Where are the people fighting for a world without silly woke campaigns?