Trick your partner into pampering with self-care dates

Because there are only so many hours in a day

While there’s no right or wrong way to lean into self-care, the number of exfoliating face masks, sound baths and clean cuticles men are missing out on is heartbreaking to think about. 

We all have little rituals that help us feel like the best version of ourselves. For me, it’s my Monday night at-home manicure, my monthly visit to skin wizard Elisa Osmo at Glow Medispa, and the occasional (but very necessary) splurge on a new activewear set. 

For others, it might be a fresh Thursday night tan, a regular date with their hairstylist to retouch their stubborn roots, or a membership to some kind of wellness club with unlimited sauna access. 

Life is short, so not only should you grab fleeting moments of pleasure and leisure by the horns, but you should share them with your nearest and dearest – especially if they’re not typically the kind of people who ‘treat’ themselves. 

Not to generalise, but after growing up with a brother, living with male housemates, and having been shacked-up with my fiancé for three years, I’ve noticed that men don’t often treat themselves to a good ol’ fashioned pampering session – or at least not in the ways we women usually do. 

When they need an emotional pick-me-up, they’re much more likely to get together with their mates over a meal or drinks, hit the gym, or UberEats some sickly dessert to their doorstop, rather than taking the time to pamper themselves. 

While there’s no right or wrong way to lean into self-care, it pains me to think of all the exfoliating face masks, sound baths and clean cuticles men are missing out on. 

Men don’t often treat themselves to a good ol’ fashioned pampering session. Image: Pexels

When I’ve dragged my partner along with me to test out new wellness hotspots, not only has he enjoyed himself, but he’s genuinely left feeling like a lighter, less stressed version of himself. But when faced with the option of booking a monthly facial, massage or haircut on his own, he can never justify the time or money involved. 

Yet, he’ll happily spend both on workout classes that leave him wanting to throw up, on sports massages akin to torture sessions on the muscles, and dreaded ice bath dunks in the middle of winter. 

It’s as if something needs to be entirely uncomfortable to bolster his mental and physical health – a principle I refuse to live by. Because, regardless of who you are and how you spend your free time, life is difficult enough for the average person. So, why add more fuel to the fire? 

It's time for men to lean into the benefits of pampering themselves. Image: Pexels

Self-care dates? The ultimate win-win scenario

Introducing the men in our lives to the wonders of a fruit enzyme peel or the deep tissue massage chairs used during pedicures shouldn’t add to our already heavy mental load; it’s not our responsibility to mother our boyfriends and husbands, after all. Bringing them along to our regular appointments or booking a cute pampering date somewhere new should be a mutually beneficial affair. 

Whether it’s your top love language or not, spending quality time with your significant other over a long sauna sesh is bound to strengthen any bond. Not every date night needs to take place at a critically acclaimed restaurant (or your living room couch) in order to keep the romancee alive. Instead, pamper each other by running a bubble bath, booking a spa day, or taking a long walk at sunset together.  

You could both stumble upon an untapped love of sound baths, or find that trying a new indulgent self-care activity each week becomes the thing you most look forward to, trumping even the classic pairing of Netflix & Chill. 

And at the very least, it’s always better to have someone to chat with while your pedicure dries or your pores open up. 

It’s always better to have someone to chat with while your pedicure dries or your pores open up. Image: Pexels

Pamper your partner with these self-care date ideas

Visit a bathhouse

From steam rooms and saunas to ice baths and magnesium pools, hitting a bathhouse together is the perfect way to force some much-needed R&R. Whether you’re after moral support as you attempt a full minute in an ice bath, or just want to chat about the weekend in the sauna together, Slowhouse in Bondi’s open-plan wellness house has something for everyone. 

Treat them to a facial 

Whether due to their frustratingly unproblematic skin or unwillingness to splurge on a good-quality facial, very few men are hitting up their local dermal therapist’s office on a regular basis. While there’s no replicating the skilled touch of the experts, you can easily recreate your favourite pampering skincare routine at home for your significant other. Dim the lights, gather your favourite products and walk them through the relaxing process of a double cleanse, exfoliation, lymphatic drainage massage and however many serums you have the patience for. 

Finding time to move together slowly is a great way to mindfully practice self-care. Image: Pexels

Flow (or sweat) together 

Finding time to move together slowly, focusing on strength and flexibility, is a great way to mindfully practice self-care, especially if your partner is someone who exclusively uses exercise to push their body to its limit.

This could be anything from attending a sound bath or Yoga flow together, or slightly upping the ante with a Pilates class or long walk. 

Book a hair appointment 

If your partner is approaching 30 (or well past it) and is still sporting a too-short-on-the-sides clipper haircut from any old barber, it’s time to introduce him to the skilled expertise of a hair stylist you trust. 

If a haircut or styling session isn’t what you’re after, there are plenty of places around Australia offering luxurious (and quite frankly, life-changing) head spa treatments, such as Atama Head Spa and Tokyo Headspa.

Originally published as Trick your partner into pampering with self-care dates