MAFS’ thin pretext of being an altruistic social experiment has been whisked away

Married At First Sight is not just unrelated to love, it is a direct violation, writes Joe Hildebrand.

If there is one redeeming feature of Married At First Sight, it is that it has no redeeming features. It is trash in its purest form.

Even the cigarette paper thin pretext that it was some kind of altruistic social experiment was whisked away quicker than a bride’s nightie – quite literally in this case.

Now the appearances of the psychologists or counsellors – or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be – are so rare and fleeting that it is almost a surprise to see them.

Fortunately their professional capacity to repeat verbally what every person watching has just seen remains as consistent as ever.

The Married At First Sight experts.

Indeed, yet another quaint perversion of the show is that its resident experts have less understanding of what is happening than the audience, the producers and the participants.

A bride could pick up a sledgehammer and ram her husband’s head through a glass table and you can bet London to a brick one of the shrinks would say: “Hmmm. It seems Bianca is reacting with hostility towards Jake.”

This year, as it happens, I don’t believe we have a Bianca but we do have a Bronte and two Mels. It’s like the Spice Girls without the music.

And at stake, we are told, is the very institution of marriage itself.

Bronte is a bride on MAFS 2023. Picture: Channel 9

One groom was savaged at the dinner party for daring to come on the show to find love when he was – miraculously if you ask me – capable of attracting women in the outside world.

More miraculously, the bride who carried out this interrogation – I think it was one of the Mels – was able to do so with a straight face.

To be fair, this may have had more to do with her face’s chemical composition than her acting ability but she deserves an Oscar all the same.

Because MAFS is to love what elephant hunting is to veganism – not just unrelated to it but a direct violation.

And that’s why we love it.