My wife told my son to 'get out of the picture' at my stepdaughter's birthday

"This isn't the first time she's treated him like an outsider - am I wrong to expect more?"

A man has taken to Reddit to vent about his wife’s treatment of his child.

In the post, the man explained that the two have been married for eight years. She has four children from a previous marriage, and he has one - a 10-year-old boy. 

Though he said he’s always done everything in his power to treat her children as his own and provide for their blended family, he said his wife has made no attempt to do the same, and instead acts like his son is ‘invisible’.

Finally, it came to a head, and he’s struggling with what to do.

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The father was upset over his wife asking his son to step out of the photo. Image: iStock

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“My heart shattered in that moment”

“We were celebrating her daughter’s 11th birthday, and everyone was gathered to sing and take pictures. I told my son to get in with the group for a picture, which seemed fine. But then, right after the group photo, my wife looked at my son and told him, “Get out of the picture, move to the side—I want one with just my kids.” he said in the post.

“I felt like my heart shattered in that moment. I completely lost it. I told her that we're supposed to be a blended family and that my son deserves to be treated like one of her own. I feel like she’s drawing lines between “her” kids and “my” son, and it just doesn’t sit right with me.”

In the post, the man went on to explain that his son’s biological mother passed two years prior, leaving his current wife as his son’s only mother-figure.

This led him to ask - was he asking too much for her to step up?

“I’m terrified that this rejection from her is going to hurt him deeply and cause psychological damage,” he said in the post.

“Am I asking too much for her to treat him like part of the family? I don’t want to be overreacting, but the way she flat-out ignores him is painful to witness.”

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“You’re not overreacting, you are not reacting enough”

Many comments on the post put the man at fault for placing his son in what is clearly a toxic and uncomfortable environment.

“You know this isn't the first time she's treated him like this. She's known him since he was 2 years old? She's a horrible human,” one commenter said.

“Do what's best for your son. You're not overreacting, you are not reacting enough.”

“If she hasn’t stepped up in 8 years, she never will. [You’re the asshole] for subjecting your son to your horrible wife for way too long,” another said.

“Your son has already been hurt (and I’m sure has/will have psych issues) from the rejection by your wife. Don’t fool yourself. You’re supposed to protect him! You’re failing as a father right now, so get it together,” a third scolded.

“This isn’t something you can change by just asking your wife to include him. You should have never married someone who did not love your son in the first place. Your son comes first. Even before your wife.”

“You need to get her out of the picture”

Others were more sympathetic with the poster, arguing that his expectations of his wife are hardly too high. However, they all agreed that they had to go.

“Holy cow! I'm so sorry. If she asks your son to get out of the picture, you need to get her out of the picture,” one person said.

“You're [not the asshole] and you have every right to be upset.”

“She sounds awful. I can’t imagine living with a motherless boy from the age of 2 on, and not loving and deeply bonding with him. It’s cruel that she isolated him like that,” added another.

“You should talk to him more, maybe bring to a counselor, and try to find out what else has happened. I guarantee he’s heard the term “my kids” vs him a lot of times.”

Originally published as My wife told my son to 'get out of the picture' at my stepdaughter's birthday