'The kids were so terrified of the gift, they wouldn't use the bathroom'

"It ended up in my office... Looking at me. Every. Time. I. Turned. Around." 

“Darling, I’m bringing some gifts for the kids when I come visit,” my mum said cheerfully over the phone.

“Ok, great,” I replied, feigning enthusiasm. Our small rental property was already bursting at the seams with toys, toys and more toys.

So, what would grandma be bringing this time? Hopefully nothing "plastic fantastic" or gimmicky.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

When she arrived, the reality was worse than I’d imagined.

There, in her arms, was her 65-year-old dolly from when she was a little girl. 

Now, I realise I’m going to sound like an utter ass**** saying this, but the thing was positively hideous. It looked like it had been bashed with the ugly stick. Badly.

In the decades since I'd last seen it; well, let's just say it hadn't aged like fine wine.

The sightless teddy was acceptable... but the doll was the limit. Image: Melissa Noble

RELATED: ‘How rude’: My folks dumped my childhood stuff

"Her eyes looked way too realistic"

The dolly had the creepiest glass eyeballs I’ve ever seen, the kind that follow you around the room and look way too realistic to be in the skull of a toy. 

Her once ruby red lips were chipped and slightly parted, revealing a faux tongue and jagged teeth.

Her hair? What hair? The doll had a massive bald patch on the back of her head. What little hair she did have had been chopped to the shoulders (probably by me as a child) and felt as coarse as winter grass.

Her undergarments had seen better days. There were holes in her backside where moths had obviously had a field day.

My mum called my youngest daughter, Isla, aged five, to the lounge and proudly presented her with the doll, which weighed an absolute bloody tonne.

Isla looked… how to describe it?

Terrified.

We can see why this doll lurking in a dark hallway would terrify the kids. Image: Melissa Noble

RELATED: Man claims creepy antique doll is haunted

"I have something else in the car"

“Wow, it’s, ah, lovely, thanks mum,” I said, taking the doll from my daughter and saving her little arms, which were buckling under the weight.

“I’m so glad you like it, darling,” mum said. “I was 11 when I got her. Now, wait, I have something else in the car for the little one.”

I groaned internally. ‘Please, no’. I thought. 

Mum was back in a flash with the biggest teddy bear I’d ever seen. Mustard coloured, circa 1950. Definitely lucked out in the looks department a little more than the dolly, but just so cumbersome and space-consuming.

This relic was presented to our youngest daughter, aged one. She seemed quite taken with it, to be fair.

When mum and dad left, the creepy doll was banished to the end of the hallway. But the kids were getting freaked out at night when they got up to go to the bathroom, so somehow it ended up in my office.

Looking at me. Every. Time. I. Turned. Around.

Introducing our new podcast: Mum Club! Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

"I tried to offload her... but couldn't do it"

Which brings me to my question. What do you do with these kinds of “treasures” from the past?

I tried to offload the dolly. I even packed her into my car and drove her to the op shop. But I couldn’t do it. Guilt got the better of me when I pictured my mum playing with her as a little girl.

So, back she came to my office, where she is currently watching me write this article.

I recently wrote a piece about how my folks called it quits on storing my childhood and teenage belongings at their house for free. When they arrived with all my stuff, I felt completely overwhelmed, swamped by nostalgia and glimpses into the past.

Maybe this is my karma for dumping my stuff on my parents for so long. It’s time for me to take theirs. 

Originally published as 'The kids were so terrified of the gift, they wouldn't use the bathroom'