Mum used to give us Coke in our baby bottles when we were sick

"So if you're feeling some intense mum guilt today... I promise you're doing alright."

I recently had a lightbulb moment that changed the way I thought about parenting.

I was watching old slides of my childhood I was really surprised by what I saw. There, at age two, was my brother chugging down on a bottle of something brown.

I asked my mum what that was?

“It was Coke, darling,” she said matter-of-factly. “In those days, we’d give kids flat Coke when they had gastro.”

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Back then it was the norm

Obviously, in 2024, experts don’t recommend giving flat soft drinks or drinks that are high in sugar to children with gastroenteritis, but back then it was the norm. There were photos of my sister drinking it too.

As the slides rolled on, I noticed other things.

Like the fact that we had zero sun protection. It wasn’t until 1999 that research proved that using sunscreen prevented skin cancer. Back when I was a kid in the 1980s, my parents never bothered with it. 

There were no hats in sight. We were lucky to have swimmers on if we were at the beach, let alone rashies. 

And heaven almighty did we have the most dreadful bowl haircuts. There were no trips to fancy hairdressers for us. It was just mum with her blunt scissors doing her best in the living room.

At our birthday parties, the focus wasn’t on making extravagant dishes to impress other parents. Literally a few bowls of chips and a homemade cake did the job. 

Life was simple. I’m sure my mum had her fair share of stress with four kids to care for, but there wasn’t the same level of mania to be the perfect parent.

Happily drinking straight Coke in the baby bottle. Image: Melissa Noble

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Today we are perfectionists

Looking back at those old photos, it made me question my own parenting style. Modern motherhood has become ridiculously perfectionist, and somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of what's really important.

Every time we go out the door, I run through a mental checklist in my head.

Does everyone have sunscreen on? I think I may have missed my five-year-old's leg, so I’d better rectify that.

Hats, sunglasses, rashies for the three children. Check. Check. Check.

Do I have water bottles and wholesome snacks packed for the day? I feel a pang of guilt thinking about the lack of vegetables my kids have consumed in the past week.

In 2024, the invisible mental load of parenting is real, and it’s exhausting. While my husband is pretty good on that front, often the onus falls on the shoulders of mothers – research has shown as much.

Image: Melissa Noble

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Data from the Australian Institute of Family studies found that in heterosexual households, the mental load is carried mainly by mothers, even if both parents work.

In one-in-five couples, respondents said the mental load was shared, but in 78 per cent of households in the sample, the mental load was “always or usually” carried by the mother. In one-third of households, it was “always” the mother.

So, I made a decision that day. After watching our old family slides, I decided to focus more on making lasting memories, and less on the finer details.

Of course I won’t be giving my 18-month-old soft drink or scorching my kids’ skin in the sun because nowadays we know better; but I’m going to relax a little and let go of the mum guilt. 

Originally published as Mum used to give us Coke in our baby bottles when we were sick