The big thing about single mum life in Netflix's 'Maid' no one's talking about

"I call it 'single mum karma' - and I wouldn't have survived without it."

Maid on Netflix has been applauded for its realistic depiction of single mum life. But one thing keeps happening in it - a pattern - that is actually a huge thing for single mums, and we need to talk about it. 

It's the phenomenon of good people giving single mums a go or a break, just when they really need it - because they deserve it. I call it the 'single mum karma' - and I wouldn't have survived and thrived without it.

It's easy to look at single mums and feel sorry for them.  But there's actually so much hope in being a single mum - for many of us, there's a fresh start, and freedom, and choice.

The thing is, much of that can't happen without people seeing us - and Maid highlights how that can happen.

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Netflix’s ‘Maid’ will shock you by how devastatingly REAL it actually is. Image: Netflix

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About Netflix's series, Maid

If you haven't watched the show, the basic premise is 28-year-old Alex (Margaret Qualley)  leaves an abusive relationship to protect her baby daughter, Maddy (Rylea Neveah Whittet). 

The show follows her determination to secure a safe home for them without any support from her family (in fact, a family that makes things even harder) whilst try to keep a cleaning job.

It is a struggle, to say the least. And an eye-opener for anyone who's never fled a relationship with the bare minimum of their belongings, without education or job prospects, and no proper housing. 

My story is different to Alex's. Twelve years ago, I was lucky enough to leave with all of my and my two-year-old's clothes, his toys, and go to a safe rental for which my sister loaned me money. And I had a job and education. 

Nevertheless, I left without much notice, and have been a sole parent (that is, no shared custody and no support) ever since.

So I understand uncertainty, and endless new beginnings as a single mum. I understand Alex's fears and her nervousness. 

But there's another thing our stories have in common - the single mum karma.

14 years later... Source: Nama Winston/Instagram

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The single mum karma

In Maid, support comes to Alex from the most unexpected places. She secures a cleaning job from Yolanda at Value Maids, whom she's referred to by Social Services. Yolanda makes it clear that the job is contingent upon performance and a strict criterion - but she still gives Alex a chance.

Then there's the kindness of Denise, who runs the domestic violence shelter they flee to. Denise gives Alex and her daughter respite, a safe haven, and most importantly in many ways - dignity.

Then there's the wealthy woman Regina, Alex's first client. Their start is rocky, but over time, they develop a friendship and even a mutual respect. And later, when she desperately needs it to escape danger, Regina is the one who rescues her.

Alex also has a friend called Nate, who helps make her feel like a woman again, and gives her an old car because he knows that as a working single mum, life would be tough without one.

Alex's story post-escaping is one filled with good people - not just her ugly ex and difficult family.

I've found in my time as a single mum that good things like this happen all the time - it's the single mum karma.

When the universe somehow comes together when you really need it to, because you're at the limit of what a person can cope with, and you just need someone to have faith in you and give you a break.

For me, it was the woman who rented a place to me when she knew I hadn't even told my husband I was leaving. My family who, despite not always agreeing with my decisions, have never wavered in supporting my son. An employer who gave me a break and a chance in a new industry, in a new city. Having the best, kindest landlords when we rented.

It's the karma single mums have earned for the sacrifices we've made for a better life for our kids. 

Hopefully the show will inspire good people to reach out, because they can really make a difference.

This story was published in 2021 and updated June 2023

Originally published as The big thing about single mum life in Netflix's 'Maid' no one's talking about