My MIL won't babyproof her house for a strange reason

"And then she's cross we can't come over and I won't leave the kids with her," the frustrated mum tells Kidspot.

Isn’t it funny how something you think will bring your family closer can often do the opposite? 

Well, I guess ‘funny’ isn’t the right word- complicated, frustrating and infuriating probably is closer to it, at least this is my experience.

Since I had my first child, *Frankie, now three, my mother-in-law, Helen has been very involved.

For the most part, this has been a really positive and helpful thing – an extra set of hands, a well of knowledge and experience in parenting to seek advice from and someone whom as a person I get along with well.

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"She refuses to adopt any safety measures"

Now though, with my second baby, Layla nine months, I am looking to return to work for the first time and for two of those four days, Helen has offered to look after both Frankie and Layla.

When she first offered, I was absolutely thrilled. I mean for starters the saving on childcare; plus, I trusted Helen and knew the kids would be in safe hands and love spending time with her too.

But Helen has made a few stipulations in regard to the arrangements which have pivoted the situation from lifesaving to something I want to bang my head on the table about.

For starters, the kids have to be dropped at her house so she can look after them from there. Although it adds an extra 45-minute round trip before and after work wouldn’t have bothered me that much alone, knowing that the environment they will stay in is a complete minefield of hazards makes me anxious.

You see, Helen refuses to adopt any child safety measures in her home. This means no barriers, no electricity socket plugs, no bumpers for corner edges, no cupboard door latches, no gates, no anchoring of TVs, no baby monitors, no stair guards, nothing. This means we rarely visit her at home and she usually comes to us or we meet somewhere neutral.

"Cotton wool parents"

My house on the other hand has many of these babyproofing devices because in my eyes they are common sense and critical when you have kids on the move like Frankie and Layla who is just starting to crawl.

Frankie is extremely inquisitive and will investigate anything he sees. So, for my husband and I, ensuring that unsafe or potentially hazardous items are out of reach, behind a barrier that can't be opened, or other features like stairs and sharp edges aren’t going to be a danger is critical.

Helen thinks our house is way too “OTT with safety gadgets” and we are “cotton wool parents.” She thinks that we have too many safety items around the home, rely on them too heavily and that they are completely unnecessary.

She keeps saying to my husband and I that kids won't ever learn if they are protected like this all the time and that they “didn’t have these things around when you were kids and you both lived.”

Source: iStock

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"Her ultimatum is so stressful"

Both my husband and I have tried to explain that for us, having these features are really important because they prevent many injuries and accidents among kids each year.

We have offered to buy the items for her, install them in her house, and even put gates up and take them down on the days the kids come over, so she doesn’t have to have them up even when they are not there. Despite all of this she refuses to oblige and has basically said it is her way, or she won't be able to help us.

This ultimatum has been so stressful for me. I was already anxious about returning to work after three years and about leaving the kids too, but this added complication has just made it so much worse.

Now I either have to find a spot for two kids in day-care for the extra days and lose out on any decent income I would have made or concede and then spend each and every day wondering when I will get a call to find out someone has knocked their heard on her glass pointy cornered coffee table or fallen down her stairs.

In all honesty, I don’t know what to do. It seems such a ridiculous thing to get hung up upon, but I just can't bear the thought of my kids potentially getting hurt by something I could have prevented.

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons

Originally published as My MIL won't babyproof her house for a strange reason