My mum thinks I need to discipline my 12mo baby more

"She says I am too nice to the baby all the time."

A new mum has asked other parents if it's normal to discipline your baby, after her mum told her she was "too nice" to her 12-month-old. 

"Usually, he is a happy baby, but for some reason, he was crying all day today," the mum explained online.

"We were out on a family outing, and he was just very irritable all day. He would only stop crying if I held him in my arms, standing. Obviously, it was a tough day for adults around us."

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Why the baby could have been crying all day

Her mother then sat her down that evening and asked her why she thought the baby had been crying all day.

She told her mum it could have been any of the following reasons:

• Today was very hot and humid

• He likes crawling around and playing with toys, but today he was in his stroller most of the day or in my arms

• His nappies showed a bit of diarrhea, so maybe he had a stomachache all day

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"All of these must have sounded like excuses. My mother then held an accusatory tone, implying that I was too nice to the baby all the time and not disciplining him enough. My reply was that he was too young to try to teach," the OP continued.

Her mother then got angry at her baby and told him, "I am never coming outside with you again," to his face.

"She then left our family and went back to her hotel room," the mum added.

"Any thoughts? Am I weird to think this behaviour is not okay?"

Image: IStock

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The responses flooded in

"Are you telling us that your mum expected your baby to handle is own emotions when she can’t herself?" the top comment with over 4000 likes read.

A second said: "OP - none of those were excuses. I’m moody and grumpy when it’s hot and humid, and I’m 50! Add diarrhea to the mix (which means he was likely dehydrated, which feels HORRIBLE) and the poor little guy!

"Your mum is just plain being a jerk! Sorry, not sorry. My grandson is 20mo, and when it’s hot, long day, teething, or whatever (because they’re developing at light speed), they want mum or dad. There is NOTHING wrong with that and she’s operating off of a very old belief that you could 'spoil a baby with too much love'."

"With all due respect, if I were in your position, I wouldn't bother inviting her to any activity, and I would hesitate to allow her to visit my home," a third wrote.

"I don't get old people not being positive to young parents... I guess they've forgotten how difficult it is to raise a child," a fourth commented.

"Yes, this is unhinged. What a sh*tty mother she must have been herself," someone else echoed. 

However, others wanted to give the OP's mum the benefit of the doubt and were concerned for her.

"In all seriousness, could be an early sign of dementia. OP didn’t offer much context, like whether she’s always been a terrible parent or if this just started," said one.

Another asked: "Serious question: is your mother okay? Like, does she have some kind of mood disorder or cognitive impairment?"

"I was going to say looking into emotionally immature parents can help deal with this kind of behaviour. Similar thing!" someone else suggested.

And finally, someone concluded: "You don’t discipline a baby that age, certainly not for crying. Your mother sounds like she needs decades of therapy if she’s mad at a baby."

Originally published as My mum thinks I need to discipline my 12mo baby more