My ex has Airbnb guests over when our son is with him

"He's always been a bit careless but this is so dangerous."

I don't hate my ex husband.

He loves our boy who's six, and in the four years we've been divorced, he's been steady in general in terms of time and money. 

But I've just learned he's doing something that's putting our son at risk - and no one can convince me otherwise.

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"Our son must come first"

My ex has been a business owner, but after COVID his shop hard, he had to close things down a couple of years ago.

I thought he was managing with savings and some consultancy work, but wow... I was so wrong.

My son spends every second Saturday night at his dad's, and recently, he's been coming home with stories about different people.

He played Uno with "Daddy's friend Simon", or "Daddy's friends James and Maria" made him pasta.

At first I thought he must have new friends, which was good.

But then one day my son let it slip that he can't get into his room to grab toys because "daddy's friends are sleeping in there."

I asked him, "And where do you sleep?"

"With daddy."

"And how do you get your clothes and pajamas from your room?"

"Daddy keeps it in his room, now."

And finally, it clicked.

Image: iStock

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"Are you doing Airbnb or something?"

The man was renting out our son's room.

So, when my poor little man, already uprooted from mum's house with his little backpack, goes to his dad's, he doesn't even have access to his bedroom and belongings. 

Fine, he's sleeping with dad, which might happen anyway... but surely the rest must feel unsettling for him?

I was so disappointed in my ex: he's always been a bit careless about safety but this is so dangerous.

My heart broke, because my little man didn't seem happy about the situation - despite being cheerful about the people (outright strangers) he was meeting and having to share his dad with.

I was furious, and confronted my ex the next time he came to pick up our son.

"What's going on? Are you doing Airbnb or something?"

He shrugged his shoulders and wouldn't make eye contact.

"It's good money," he finally said.

"But what about safety? These are strangers, you don't know them."

The excuses came: "He's always with me, he uses my bathroom", and so on.

I said our son is too young to have this sort of instability and to be put at risk and feel like he doesn't have a space there.

Another shrug. "It's not every time he's with me."

That wasn't the point. 

"If you talk to him and say it's ok, he'll feel better."

So now it was my job to carry the emotional burden as a parent, while he got to make the money?

I finally got him to agree that if he accepts a booking, I will keep our son. He seemed really relieved, and I was reminded of why I left in the first place: we were never his priority.

Originally published as My ex has Airbnb guests over when our son is with him