'My daughter wants me to be single forever because I'm a mum first'

“Her attitude is a red flag, but that's my fault.”

A single mum has revealed she’s caught in a battle between her head and her heart.

The 31-year-old has two kids, aged 10 and six.

For the last five years, it’s been just the three of them. But now, she’s finally ready to open herself up to the possibility of love again... and of course, there's a glitch.

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"If I was a good mum, I wouldn't date"

“I have recently had the urge to date and get back out there so my kids can maybe see what it looks like for their mum to be loved - and so they can have some type of father figure,” she revealed. 

But there’s a major hurdle standing in the way; her tween daughter. 

At first, her daughter seemed fine with the idea of her mum dating. But then, she met someone who changed that. 

“We met up a few times and had been talking for over six months,” the mum explained. 

Things were going well—so well, in fact, that he had even started building a bond with her daughter. Then, something shifted.

“A couple of months passed, and my 10-year-old flips. She decided she doesn’t like him—mind you, they only met once, and the rest has been phone calls,” the mum revealed.

And then came the words that cut deep.

“She says she wants me to be single forever because if I was a good mum, I wouldn’t need anyone else besides my kids to make me happy.”

Image: iStock

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"A complete loss" 

Struggling to navigate the situation, she took to an online parenting group for advice. It’s left her wondering; is dating someone new worth the heartbreak it may cause her children?

“She’s telling me I’m hiding things from her. She’s screaming at me and gets extremely upset if I try to talk to her about wanting to move on with my life. I’m at a complete loss,” she continued.

It’s now been a year since she met the man who could be the one, and thankfully, he’s been understanding of the situation.

But she worries—if she follows her heart, will her 10-year-old become collateral?

To complicate things even further, her six-year-old has no problem with the relationship and actually enjoys having the man around.

“I’m tired of being lonely, but will I lose my 10-year-old if I continue trying to date someone?” she finally asks.

The comment section quickly chimed in with advice.

“Show her you are the adult and you get to make the decision. But also be respectful in her thoughts and always show her she comes first,” one shared. 

“I want to remind you that we deserve our own happiness, too,” another said. 

A third was more blunt: “You don’t have to discuss your dating needs with a 10-year-old. It’s not a debate or conversation. You don’t need her approval or to justify it in any way.”

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The mum admits her daughter’s stubbornness is a personality trait she’s passed down to both of her children.

“It’s definitely my fault! They’re both so opinionated. We’ve always been open and honest, and now it seems to be backfiring,” she admitted.

Despite her daughter’s resistance, she’s doing her best to work through the tough conversations.

“I do believe she’s scared I’m going to leave her, but I reassure her that I have never and would never. I just don’t know how to make her believe me," she reasoned. 

Originally published as 'My daughter wants me to be single forever because I'm a mum first'