Mum bans kid from seeing new friend after uncomfortable act

"I don't know what the hell is up with her, but we will not be having another play date!"

Image: iStock.

Making friends in a new school, in a new town is tough - especially on tween and teenage kids. 

 

 

One mum made the mistake of setting up a catch up for her lonely teen that went badly wrong and resulted in an online spat with another family.

The mum shared her experience on a popular Reddit forum to ask for advice.

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"Especially hard for my oldest daughter"

“My family and I have moved states and it has been a hard move especially for my oldest daughter Katty who’s in 6th grade,” the mum begins. 

“The area’s school district has a Facebook account that parents are a part of. I introduced myself there a while ago."

The mum continues by saying she got a message from a parent last week via the group, asking to meet up as this woman's daughter Melanie would be in the same year at school as Katty.

“We went yesterday to the local pool where I met Melanie and she wouldn’t make eye contact, was very softly spoken and overall didn’t seem to be paying attention. 

“The kids were playing while I talked to the mum. She has always been in the area and was excited her kid was getting a friend."

The mum said it all ended abruptly when her daughter said she wasn't feeling well.

“Katty came up to me asking to leave .. and she admitted to just wanting to get away from Melanie as she explained that Melanie freaked her out.” 

The mum shared that her daughter Katty said this other girl Melanie was very touchy, kept pushing her in the water, was whispering and saying things under her breath and would stare at people and make odd comments that compared people to bugs.  

“Katty told me she was uncomfortable and doesn’t want to hang out with her again,” the woman wrote but explained it got awkward when she received a message from Melanie’s mum asking when she could do it again.

“I told her the girls didn’t mesh well and that we will have to decline. She then called me asking what I meant.

"I told her that Katty wasn’t interested in hanging out since they don’t mesh together. I was trying to be polite about it.”

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"Her kid is weird"

According to the mum this exchange carried on, with the other mum telling her that the kids just needed to be around each other more to which she kept declining.

“It went on for a while, she then asked to talk to my husband which is when I snapped.

“I told her, 'no' and that I was trying to be polite but that her kid is weird. I said, ‘Melanie makes my kid uncomfortable and I don’t know what the hell is up with her but we will not have another play date’.”

After that rather blunt exchange, the other mum went back to the Facebook group to post about how the new family “are jerks”. 

“It [the defamatory post] seems to not be going anywhere, but I am wondering if I was a dick?” the mum concludes.

Many of the comments to the original post were sympathetic with the mum’s dilemma but were weirdly shocked at how the other mum tried to defer to her husband out of desperation.

“That’s what got me too: ‘Let me speak to your husband?’ 

“Like you belong to him and he’ll tell you what to do? Just WTF? Protect your child and I guarantee that the other parents feel pretty much the same as you about that family.”

Another poster had issues with the way the other mum did not believe the daughter who felt uncomfortable. 

"How about the fact that this woman completely overstepped Katty’s autonomy? This woman thinks she gets to decide who OP’s daughter is going to be friends with.

"Maybe one day, she’ll see that she’s the reason her own child is so socially awkward."

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"Therapy can really help"

Another commenter and mum of two autistic kids felt that maybe the second mum needed to get her daughter some professional help.

"Sixth grade and no friends is a red flag. Her daughter sounds like she could be on the Autism spectrum, muttering, sole focus on her own interests, not picking up social clues, etc. The mother needs to get daughter evaluated and help with social skills. Therapy can really help."

Many people felt this mum may already have a reputation in the community.

"Given the mum’s smear campaign isn’t going anywhere, I have a hunch the rest of the school parents know the kid’s mum is a big part of the problem."

One thoughtful poster had an idea about where things went wrong.

"You tried to let her down lightly and she pushed it further. My suggestion would be to explain exactly what you did in this post about Melanie’s specific behavior and not just call her weird.

"Having specifics might help her mum understand why she made Katty uncomfortable. Or she’ll make excuses for it but at least you tried.

"I have a feeling others have been through this before and that’s probably why the Facebook post isn’t doing as much damage as it would have otherwise."

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"You tried to be nice"

Finally one poster felt the mum had tried her best with the other mum and ultimately was looking after her daughter's best interests.

"You tried being nice, and if you continued, she would just have continued to push it. 

"Good job standing up for your kid."

Originally published as Mum bans kid from seeing new friend after uncomfortable act