I won’t tell my MIL when her grandson is born, she doesn't deserve to know

"She can find out through social media," the mum-to-be-wrote in response to the woman's actions.

3 min read

June 29, 2023 - 2:43PM

Pregnancy

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A woman has taken to a popular advice forum to ask whether or not she’s in the wrong for her decision to keep the birth of her son a secret from her mother-in-law.

The OP and her fiancé have been together for 10 years and have been trying to conceive for over six.

So when they were “finally” pregnant, she said they “couldn’t be happier.”

However, this is when her mother-in-law started showing her “finger-friendly” antics and posting all of the couple’s exciting news to social media without permission. It was just one of many offences to come.

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Three strikes, you're out

“When we made the pregnancy announcement to our family and close friends, we announced pretty early because we were so excited, and I found out my MIL had made a post about being a nan again and how excited she is - me and my fiancé hadn't even been able to make the announcement ourselves yet as we wanted to wait till our 12-week scan before posting anything,” she says.

The OP brushed this off as her MIL being overly excited but then she did the exact same thing again at their gender reveal.

She continued, “It was such a pleasant day and a lot of crying. Lots of pictures were taken, and it was just close friends and family.

“The day came to a sudden stop when I had a notification that I had been tagged in a post from MIL letting everyone know the gender of our baby.”

The woman admitted this “angered” her as she was hoping she and her fiancé could make the announcement first. She then started receiving messages of congratulations from random people throughout the day.

“I expressed my concern to my fiancé, and he said he'd talk to her,” she adds.

Then 30 weeks into the pregnancy, they decided to get a 4D scan and sent the photos to close family before posting themselves.

Right on cue, the MIL uploaded them AGAIN.

“We've now had to sit her down and tell her that she has stolen these moments from us by making these announcements first, this is our first baby and it's those moments we can never have returned to us,” she writes.

“I have made a warning that if this continues where announcements are being made before we have made them, then I will not tell her when her grandchild arrives and that she can find out through social media. She's now become very upset and said that we are overreacting, AITA in this situation?”

Image: IStock

"She lost the right to her access"

All the commenters agreed that this mum-to-be should keep the birth a secret as three strikes is three too many.

“She lost the right to her access when she flagrantly went against your wishes, not once, but three times. Misbehave, and suffer the consequences. Doesn’t matter how old you are,” said one popular comment.

Another added: “My mum was the same when we announced my gf’s pregnancy at a dinner … ‘Oooh! I can’t wait to tell the rest of the family!’ Despite me telling her not to. I was basically forced to call everyone during dinner to announce it myself. I did so by telling them, ‘Sorry to call you during mealtime, but otherwise Mum would have spoiled it.’

“Mum was furious I made her look like a villain… But it taught her a lesson about respecting boundaries. Same with your MIL: she doesn’t respect your boundaries, she needs to do so.”

Then a third said: “[You’re not the AH because] she will absolutely make posts all over social media the minute you give birth if you give her half a chance. She has shown that she will continue this behaviour even after you have set clear boundaries about it…She prefers ‘likes’ to her loved ones’ wishes. And nobody likes that.”

Then someone else simply concluded: “She’s making all your moments about her. She needs to be on a strict info diet.”