'I promised I'd never do this in front of our baby'

"One big thing changed my mind..."

I remember one of my friends telling me casually one day that she and her partner often had sneaky sexy time while her kid slept in the same room.

It was before I’d had kids myself, and I was absolutely horrified.

“For real?” I asked.

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"What kind of mother thinks about sex with their kids around?"

“Yep, it’s true,” she said. “If we didn’t, it would never happen,” she replied, matter-of-factly.

I vowed that that would never be me. Secretly, I was pretty judgemental towards my friend. I just didn’t get it.

What kind of mother even thinks about sex when her kid is in close proximity?

However, wind forwards the clock a decade, and my perspective is a little different.

I now have three children under nine, and I’ve discovered that, just like I had to say farewell to my perky boobs and pelvic floor, I’ve also had to put wild, uninterrupted sexy time largely on the back-burner.

My husband and I have always found a way to make it happen, but lately, it’s been a lot harder.

For several months now, my toddler has been extra clingy with me and wanting to sleep in our room.

Initially, I’d hear her crying and rush to her, give her a cuddle then slowly, torturously lower her back down into her cot. An hour later, she’d be up again.

And so, we did what all the textbooks tell you not to do. We caved and put her cot at the end of our bed.

But mum and dad still have needs, and unfortunately the configuration of our house doesn’t really allow for many other places to have intimate time, other than our bedroom.

Soz little one, mum and dad still have needs. Image: iStock

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"I'm investing in a lock"

When the lights are out and the little one is in la-la land, mum and dad have a little discrete under-the-cover action.

Ok, let’s be honest… it’s not always 100% discrete, and in fact, we were almost sprung the other day by one of our older children.

My husband was down south and I looked up to see my five-year-old standing there sleepily at the door.

“Mumma? What’s daddy doing?” she asked.

“Oh, daddy is just tickling me, darling,” I replied, heaving him up and vowing to invest in a lock.

I never ever thought we'd go down this road of being intimate while our toddler sleeps nearby, but honesty, if we didn't, we'd never get any action.

So, tell me. Do other parents have to do the same?

Or are we just despicable/desperate people? I’d really like to know your thoughts.

Originally published as 'I promised I'd never do this in front of our baby'