'I named my babies by myself ... their dad can kick rocks'

“He demanded I change their names, I said no. He told me to combine our last names, I said no."

Joel Erickson

3 min read

June 18, 2024 - 4:00PM

Kristie* couldn't believe Tom* wanted in a say in her twins' names given he abandoned them. Picture: iStock

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Kristie* was shocked when her fiance Tom* walked out on her.

The couple were well into their wedding plans when Tom dropped the bombshell, but to make matters worse, Kristie was 14 weeks pregnant.

“We did plan the pregnancy,” Kristie said.

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“He was the one who had really pushed the idea and convinced me, so when he decided to up and leave, it sucked.

“During my pregnancy we had minimal contact, mainly around custody and a few requests on updates with the pregnancy.

“Surprisingly, he did fight for custody: to have zero per cent. He’ll have visitation and parental rights, but that’s it.”

Kristie* couldn't believe Tom* wanted in a say in her twins' names given he abandoned them. Picture: iStock

"He didn't text or visit while the babies were in NICU"

To make matters worse for Kristie, she was expecting twins, and she gave birth via caesarean section.

However, the birth was just the start of the drama that she would go through with Tom.

“The last time we talked before the babies were born was three days before my C-section,” she said.

“The babies were in NICU for two weeks, and during this time he didn’t text or visit.

“(The delivery) was planned, so he was fully aware of the date/location etc.

“Obviously you need to name your kids, so I ended up choosing them myself since we hadn’t got to that stage. I also gave them my last name since I’ll be the one raising them.

“From his lack of interest throughout the pregnancy, I didn’t think he cared.”

"He said they don't look like their names"

Kristie was wrong, Tom very much did care, and he made his feelings quite well known when he found out.

“Three weeks after they were born and I’d taken them hope, he just rocks up,” Kristie said.

“He asks what I named them, and when I told him he said they don’t look like their names, and that they’re ‘stuck up’ names.

“He then says their names and his last name, but I corrected him and told him they’d taken my surname. He got angry, and it became a tense situation.

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“He demanded I change their names, I said no. He told me to combine our last names, I said no.

“I told him a parent that fights for zero per cent custody of their kids doesn’t show much concern or care about said kid, especially since there are no physical or mental reasons he isn’t able to parent.

“He told me I was unreasonable and unhinged, so I told him if he wanted a say in their names, he should’ve shown up when they were born, and not waited three weeks to even ask what his own kids names were.”

"I don't understand what he expected to happen"

Kristie took to Reddit with her story, as she wasn’t sure if leaving Tom out of the naming decision was the right move, but thankfully the internet backed her completely.

“You’re right that normally names are a two-yes situation, but your case is not normal,” one person wrote.

“Your ex doesn’t get to show up three weeks after the birth and start making demands.”

“I don’t understand what he expected to happen here,” another person wrote. “He should kick rocks, and you should speak with a family attorney because this situation isn’t going to get any better.”

“(It would be different) if you were still together, but if he doesn’t want to be involved in raising them or having custody, and didn’t even talk to you when they were in NICU, you did the right thing,” a third person wrote.

*Names have been changed