The real reason Gen Z are so sad and anxious is not what you think

If it seems like all the younger people in your life are sad and anxious, you’re not imagining it – but the cause might not be what you’re expecting.

It seems extraordinary when we think about it, but the younger generation seems to have actually listened to all that we are saying, and have taken it on board.

They have believed our story that we have ruined their world and that there is no reason to think positively about the future.

They have heard us, and believed, when we have told them that we have caused an enormous environmental crisis – that we did it and that we can’t fix it. That it is up to them but is really a hopeless task.

They have accepted it when we tell them that they should not expect to be able to afford to buy their own home, and that our Great Australian Dream is dead to them.

They have bought into our story that we had a glorious past but they will not have a glorious future.

This has made them sad. And anxious.

A recent survey revealed that Gen Zers are anxious, about work stress, about their health, about the environment, and about being anxious.

We have told them that the world is bad and they are anxious about that.

Australia is in the grips of a mental health crisis, and people are struggling to know who to turn to, especially our younger generations. Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, equipping Aussies with the skills needs to have the most important conversation of their life.

Parents reading this may be surprised, as most things that we tell our kids are dismissed as not relevant.

We have tried to teach them to save, to settle down, to make a future – and that is not necessarily accepted as wisdom.

However, they have taken on the bad news and are reacting to it.

The story is actually worse than that.

If they would just heed our warning and save for their own home, recycle, turn off the lights when they leave the room, reduce their consumerism, then they would be heeding us and heading for a good future.

They could do what previous generations have done and shown their elders that they can

do it better and they can improve the world.

That’s what has happened for decades.

The kids are not ok. Picture: iStock

However, this generation seem to have become paralysed and hopeless – without the resources to manage hopelessness and change their behaviour.

In our continual talk about mental illness and teaching everyone to check in to make sure that their friend and neighbour and family member is okay, I wonder whether we have made it somehow not okay to be feeling a bit low, or worried about an upcoming exam or talk or evaluation.

People are seeking to be excused when emotional challenges are tough, starting at school, where what should be seen as normal anxiety about doing a presentation is accepted as a reason not to do that presentation – thus not giving the child the practise in surviving a stressful situation and discovering that we can do things even when they are difficult and scary.

This has contributed to young people having no response to the pessimistic narratives we have shared with them about their futures, and the lack of fight that we expected.

We need to continue to check in that those in our purview are okay – but also know and convey that it is okay to feel sad or scared or lonely or anxious, as long as we can find ways to deal with those feelings, either by ourselves or with help from others.

The RUOK? we ask should not be begging for a “Yes” answer – it should always be RUOK meeting the challenges you currently have? Would you like some support? Are you building your strength and skills to deal with life? That is when you are okay.

Being okay needs to be understood as being able to tolerate a range of emotions.

We need to recognise that in order to feel joy, we need to be able to feel sadness; that anxiety and excitement can feel exactly the same; that life has challenges that we need to be able to face and then move on.

It is clear that sharing the good and the bad times make life easier and better, that loneliness can play with our minds and interfere with our capacity to manage the hard times.

If we can help each other through the good and the bad times, by supporting each other in confronting and surviving challenges, the whole community will be more resilient and be able to support its members to be strong and content and optimistic.

Amanda Gordon AM Hon FAPS is one of Australia’s most respected clinical psychologists. Past President of the Australian Psychological Society, she has a private practice in Sydney, where she has helped hundreds of people.

Originally published as The real reason Gen Z are so sad and anxious is not what you think