12 things that will be confiscated on a cruise (including pineapples)

Your go-to guide for contraband at sea.

If you’ve seen the Netflix smash Poop Cruise, you’ll know how quickly things can go south in the middle of the ocean. One small issue can quickly become a bunch of big ones.

Consider this, a vessel like Ovation of the Seas can carry just shy of 5000 passengers. Which means the security teams have the equivalent of a small town to watch over, keep safe and, when necessary make, behave. A part of this means making sure cruisers don’t bring on board or have access to items that at worst can be dangerous and at best impact adversely on the enjoyment of others on holiday.

So to save yourself the nuisance of schlepping something all the way from home then having it confiscated until you disembark (as well as starting your holiday with a less than fun chat with security), here are the top items that shouldn’t accompany you on the ocean.

1. Booze

Rose is okay but voddy no way.

This is a contentious one as alcohol sales on board are one of cruise companies’ primary revenue drivers and they’d obviously be happier if you were getting tipsy on their supply. Beer and spirits are generally not allowed as carry on but Carnival Australia, for example, allows one 750ml  bottle of wine or Champagne per person over the age of 18. And don’t be thinking you’ve found a nifty loophole by buying duty free on board or in port. These items will generally be handed to you upon disembarkation. That said, the rules are slightly different for non-alcoholic beverages. Generally speaking, each person can take aboard 12 cans no bigger than 375mls each. 

2. Medical marijuana

Medical marijuana may not be legal on board.

Depending on what state you live in, those gummies or drops may be entirely legal and certified with appropriate documentation. That doesn’t necessarily translate to ship board policy and international waters. So while this may not result in an automatic confiscation (and return when you arrive back in your home port), you need to be very careful and double check where your cruise line stands/floats on the issue.

3. Candles and incense

Maybe take a room spray instead.

Yes, they make the cabin feel romantic and bougie but both require a flame and that is one of the biggest no-nos when cruising as there’s no fire brigades at sea.

4. Speakers

No matter whether it’s Bluetooth, portable or wireless, these will be kept by security until you get off. Mainly due to noise concerns in the sometimes cramped confines of the cabin and decks. Pop in those headphones and do everyone a favour instead.

5. Handcuffs

Look, what you get up to in the privacy of your own cabin is up to you but these are classified as restraining devices and therefore not allowed. We don’t make the rules here, we’re just sayin’.

6. Helium balloons

Helium balloons are best confined to the land not the ocean.

They may be a great way to celebrate on a birthday cruise but out at sea, helium balloons can be a hazard. Firstly, the gas is flammable and especially so in a small confined space like a cabin where the ventilation is not as robust as say a room in your house. As importantly, when helium balloons drift away - as they so often do - and eventually come to land in the ocean, they can strangle sea life. Thirdly, from a distance, helium balloons floating on the surface can resemble a person and many cruise ships have diverted or sent out rescue crews as a result. Party poppers will also be confiscated.

7. Cut-throat razors

Old school razors are forbidden on board.

You may enjoy an old school shave but for your time on board, it’s best to stick to either the old Gillette or an electric variety. Cut throats are viewed as potential weapons. In better news and still on the topic of grooming gear, you will be allowed to pack hair dryers, flat irons, curling irons and shavers.

8. E-scooters

Hire an escooter on a cruise excursion and check you're covered by your travel insurance.

While you may picture yourself fanging around Noumea or Vanuatu on a hover board, air wheels or scooter, you’ll probably have to hire one there or do a tour as they will not be allowed on board and certainly not be permitted to charge in your cabin. There batteries have been known to catch fire in rare cases but even so, this can be a life-threatening event on a ship. The same goes for drones but mobility scooters are exempt.

9. Power strips with surge protection

You can only bring aboard power boards without surge protection.

Where there was once a blanket ban on power strips, multi plug adaptors and extension cords, these are now allowed under the proviso they are, according to Carnival, “used with proper caution”. If they have surge protectors, however, there is a fire safety concern and they can overload the ship’s electrical system. Again, see Poop Cruise.

10. Those wheely shoes

Heelys are fun on land but not allowed at sea.

The Heely craze - remember those sneakers that turned into mini rollerskates via a wheel in the sole - may have dimmed somewhat but they have always been verboten on board. Cruise lines view them the same way the view rollerblades. Since you’re on a moving vehicle which is not only going forwards but tilting side to side, the chance of smashing into a banister or fellow passenger at speed is greatly heightened. 

11. Irons and clothes steamers

Leave the steamer at home.

You may want to look wrinkle free - your clothes that is - for formal night but any gadget with a heating element is a fire waiting to happen. You can still go sans creases as most cruise lines have ironing boards and irons on every level in self-contained designated spaces and a laundry service.

12. Pineapple door stickers

Soon to be gone but not forgotten. By some.

By now, you will know that an upside down pineapple sticker on a cruise cabin door is - according to some - a coded message that the inhabitants are swingers. Late last year, however, Carnival Cruise Line instituted a ban on them stating, “All guests are expected to ensure their door decorations are respectful to fellow guests and reflect our family-friendly atmosphere…items displayed during the cruise should not contain any message that may be considered offensive or contain nudity, profanity, sexual innuendos/suggestions.”

The Reddit community inevitably shed some more unverified light on the matter with one user noting, “The ban occurred because folks were removing them and putting them on other folks doors. Causing issues.” You think?

Originally published as 12 things that will be confiscated on a cruise (including pineapples)