Quick Kicks: Latest local footy goss, quirky tales

A glaring awards oversight, the high-speed dummy-spit, end-of-season high jinks and a top umpire returning to the ‘burbs...our weekly local footy column Quick Kicks has all the goss.

Quick Kicks is our new weekly column that looks at the lighter side of local footy.

Whether it be a funny exchange, a good stat or an action that’s laughed about after the game — it’s all here.

WHAT THE...?

We hear a south-east club is livid after an embarrassing oversight at the league awards night. The club says it received an email in the lead up to the night confirming one of its star players had made the team of the year, and should attend the evening. So, the lad and his girlfriend went along — but were left confused and upset when he wasn’t named in the side. “Embarrassing,’’ hollered a club official.

An awards night oversight left a club fuming.

LIGHTEN UP, UMP

An umpire in a Southern league final at the weekend was having none of a young kid in a match of his own over the fence. When the kid’s bright green Sherrin went for a tumble over the pickets and into the senior arena, instead of handing the kid’s footy back and politely asking he not impede the match again, the umpire sent a long and direct kick well over the young fellas head. Lighten up, ump.

THAT’S A BIT SILLY

We’re hearing whispers of things getting out of hand when a player tells his club he’s moving on next year. No, we’re not talking about contractual disagreements, fights or even harsh words — it’s much, much worse than that. We’re being told some clubs are banning their players from attending Silly Saturday or Mad Monday if they plan to depart the club.

STILL ON SILLY SATURDAY ...

We’ve seen some sensational dress ups for end-of-season celebrations already and we want more! We’ve attached Picola United’s best-on-ground effort reenacting Jack Karlson’s iconic arrest — “I see that you know your judo well!” — and are not sure it can be matched but are putting the call out ... send us what you’ve got.

CHILL, GREENVALE

Greenvale showed no mercy after its Essendon District league finals win at the weekend. The Jets knocked Aberfeldie out with a 74-point thrashing but they went even harder on social media post-game. The club posted a video of the team song with the caption ‘Aberfeldie really thought they would get to play Strathmore this week. See you next season boys!!’ The video hasn’t exactly gone viral but we suspect the TikTok profiles which saved the video might be revisiting it when the two sides meet next year.

DO YOU TAKE AFTERPAY?

The cost of living is hitting local footy hard as one league is stinging patrons at the gate up to $20 for entry. There’s a team list included but you won’t be able to park inside the venue. One club said they’d never printed more taxable receipts in their history.

Anthony Koutoufides with son Lukas who was best on ground in the under 14s premiership he coached

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY KOUTA

Carlton legend Anthony Koutoufides will be hoping his beloved Blues have a similar level of success he did at the weekend. Koutoufides coached his son Lukas’ Ivanhoe under-14 side to premiership glory. And, yes, Blues supporters, the young fella was best-on-ground. “A perfect Father’s Day gift,” the Blues legend wrote on his Facebook page.

SLOW DOWN, CHAMP

Which star local player had a row with his coach, got in his car and took off at such speed that he lost control and was lucky he didn’t wipe out himself or another road user?

IT MUST BE NICE

The AFL clearly doesn’t have the financial hurdles some football clubs do. The top dogs asked the Frankston Dolphins to turn on their state-of-the-art lights for Sunday’s AFLW match. The conditions for the 1pm match warranted a boost but a few locals were eager to make sure the power bill went to Andrew Dillon, as we are told it costs $4000 to run the 1000 lux lights at full tilt for a game.

AFL field umpire Chris Donlon. Pic: Michael Klein

Former SUA umpires boss Peter Marshall.

UMPIRE RETURNS TO GRASSROOTS

Recently retired AFL ump Chris Donlon will do a Q and A at the Southern Umpires’ grand final appointment gathering at Kananook on Wednesday night. The young umps should listen to every word from Donlon, who officiated 422 games and one grand final (2011) while wearing the No.1 guernsey. Accompanying Donlon to the night will be one of the SUA’s greatest, Peter Marshall, returning to the SUA rooms for the first time since 2015. And, word is, Marshy will give the young umps a rousing rev-up ahead of grand final day.

MONTY EASE PRESTON FEARS

Preston City Oval is spoken about in hushed tones at Montmorency. The ground hasn’t been kind to the club in the past decade ... but there could be light at the end of the tunnel. The 19-point qualifying final win over North Heidelberg avenged last year’s 57-point thumping and straight sets exit and has hopefully eased fears of the venue. A semi-final win over Heidelberg this weekend would all but end talk of the curse.

THE GREAT EIGHT

Eight teams in grand finals — can anyone beat that?

It’s hard to imagine a better season than Edithvale-Aspendale’s 2024 campaign. On Saturday, the Eagles’ seniors, reserves, under-19s, Club 18, as well as their B, C, D and under-17s netball teams will be shooting for premiership glory.

South Morang’s Josh D’Intinosante, left, celebrates a goal. Picture: Andy Brownbill

MORANG MAKES HISTORY

South Morang is through to the first Northern Division 2 grand final in its history. The Lions stunned second-placed Diamond Creek and minor premier Whittlesea in consecutive finals to march into the decider. A flag would see the club promoted to Division 1, a pipedream just a few years ago as the club battled off-field and administration issues. If Local Footy Stats history is correct, South Morang hasn’t been in the top flight of a competition since around 1979-80 in the old Diamond Valley days.

THE GREATEST?

Mitcham coach Neil Winterton has done it again.

The Tigers are into a second consecutive grand final in Eastern’s Division 1 — and will shoot for a fourth flag in seven completed seasons under the club’s longest-serving mentor.

Before Winterton took over in 2015, the club hadn’t won a premiership in more than three decades. He’s since lifted cups in ‘15, ‘19 and ‘23.

Ranked No. 2 behind only Keilor’s Mick McGuane in our recent look at local footy’s best current coaches, could a fourth flag in seven seasons make him the greatest? It’s hard to argue.

CLARK’S STAR RISING

And while Winterton shoots for a fourth, Boronia coach Matt Clark is in grasp of a third flag in five completed seasons (and back-to-back crowns) after his Hawks booked their spot in Eastern’s Division 2 decider. Clark, who also took Wantirna South to glory in 2014, was ranked third on our list.