Melbourne’s worst carparkers reverse in for the silly season

THE only thing worse than Christmas shopping is the battle to find a carpark. Here’s our list of the 10 idiot parkers who make your shopping chore a nightmare.

Annoyed businessman with road rage, shouting in car Picture: Thinkstock

MAKING a trip to your local mega shopping centre to get the Christmas gifts is bad enough, without the battle to find a parking spot. It’s enough to give you a nervous breakdown.

And it’s not made any easier by those inconsiderate people who break all the rules of common decency and delight in driving you mad. THESE motorists don’t break the parking rules but they break every other convention to do with common human decency.

Here’s our list of the worst carparkers who will do anything for a vacant spot at their shopping centre over Christmas.

1. SNEAKY STEALERS

You’ve been patiently waiting for 10 minutes with your indicator on while a family loads their car, about to leave. Just as they pull out of the spot and you start to move, in sneaks some driver who just happened to be cruising past. They ignore the toot of the horn and the shake of the fist to lock up and saunter off into the shops, oblivious to your pain.

2. CREEPY STALKERS

You feel like you’re being shadowed by a government agency as you walk back to your car. They match your speed to the kilometre all the way back to your park without paying proper attention to what is up ahead, all in the hope of taking over your spot. Except you haven’t finished shopping.

Parking is at a premium in shopping centres over Christmas but there is no shortage of idiots.

3. LOCAL LEECHES

Yes, councils hand out permits to residents in streets close to major shopping centres, preventing shoppers from parking there for all-day excursions. But the permit zone never stretches quite far enough, leaving residents outside the perimeter at the mercy of motorists who park in front of their driveways or fill the street.

4. LAZY LURKERS

They mooch around the carpark like they own the joint, thinking if they wait long enough someone might just pull out so they can take the park. Meanwhile, they couldn’t care less about the frustrated drivers in the 10 cars banking up behind them. GRRR

The ever-expanding Chadstone has plenty of shops but will there be enough carparks at Christmas?

5. LOUSY LINGERERS

They look like they are ready to turn on the ignition and reverse out but they have to text, call, check the latest news or update their Facebook status on their phones. Just leave already. There are people waiting.

6. RUDE REVERSERS

You’ve been circling the carpark for what seems like hours when you finally see a car up ahead about to leave. But then another car, which has already driven passed the spot, slams into reverse and steals it from under your nose. I’m sorry folks, but once you pass a parking space, you give up all claim to it.

7. DRIVE-THROUGH PARKERS

They drive through a double spot from the other lane, stealing your spot, because they don’t want to have to reverse out later. Stick to your own sides, people!

8. HIDE AND SEEK

You think you see a spot is free so you break out of your holding pattern and dash over quickly only to find your hopes are dashed because there’s a small car parked in it. Technically it’s not their fault, but it still makes your blood boil.

C’mon people, let those who are genuinely disabled park out the front.

9. DISABLED DODGER

Not confined to Christmas, but its worse at this time of year. The people who drive straight into a disabled space right out the front of the shops. They have a sticker, but they get out in their gym gear looking like they could run a marathon.

10. SIGN IGNORER

After circling the carpark for 20 minutes you finally spot a space in the next row and you have pole position for it. Just as you enter the row, some jerk comes in from the other end, ignoring the no entry sign and pinching your possie. Not only can’t they read, they are also lousy human beings. Was it the No or the Entry they couldn’t understand?

And one more to finish with.

QUEUE JUMPER

No exactly a parking offender, but annoying just the same. You’ve been sitting in your lane, patiently waiting to enter the carpark when some driver scoots up the free lane, putting on their indicator on to cut in at the front of the line. What, is their time more important than yours?

HAVE YOUR SAY: Have we missed anyone out? Let us know below.

Christmas is all about Santa, carols, toys and shopping centre traffic jams.