Magistrate slams Gippsland man over breaches of family violence intervention order

A magistrate has slammed a Gippsland man who “completely ignored” a family violence order, confronting his ex-wife and demanding she have sex with him.

A man has pleaded guilty at Wonthaggi Magistrates’ Court.

A magistrate has slammed a Warragul man who demanded his ex-wife have sex with him after the breakdown of their marraige.

The man in his 40s, who cannot be named for legal reasons, pleaded guilty in a magistrate’s court on November 12 to multiple charges of persistently contravening a family violence intervention order.

The court heard the man and the victim had been in a relationship for more than 20 years before it ended when the woman had an affair.

A family violence intervention order was imposed in 2020 and ran until October 2021 but the man persistently contravened it.

The woman received calls, texts and social media messages from the man multiple times per day.

In a police interview, the woman said she “had to answer” because she was “afraid of what might happen” if she didn’t.

“I’ve always been scared of him, I don’t know why because he was never fully violent but he was scary when he was angry,” she said.

“It’s the unknown that is scary.”

The man sent Snapchat messages to the woman and said “grow a heart”, “I know you get off hurting people” and “you make me sick, I hate you and I never want to see or talk to you again”.

In October 2020, the man confronted the woman and demanded sex.

He said “why does he get it, why can’t I?” which referenced the woman’s new partner.

The court heard the harassment by the man caused the woman to slap him in the face.

The incident ended when the man was confronted by his children who threatened to call the police.

Lawyer Kristen Mavor said the unemployed man accepted responsibility for his actions.

“He is a gentleman that made some poor choices,” she said.

“He acknowledged he should have made better choices about dealing with that breakdown and seeking the right assistance for the feelings he was having rather than behaving in the manner he behaved.”

Magistrate Simon Zebrowski said the man “completely ignored” the order.

“It’s not like he made one poor choice,” he said.

“Virtually the entire time this order was in place, he acted as if there was no order.”

Magistrate Zebrowski said no-one can force someone to stay in a relationship.

“A person has a right to choose with whom they want to be with and if it hurts you, while on one hand, it’s understandable but on the other hand it’s tough luck,” he said.

“You have to do something to get over it.

“Once that relationship is over they can see whoever they damn well want whether you like it or not.”

Magistrate Zebrowski slammed the man’s offending.

“When a court makes an order, it doesn’t do it for fun,” he said.

“I sat here all day today dealing with intervention orders over and over again.

“They are not worth the paper they are printed on if we don’t enforce them.”

The man broke down in tears and said he was “very sorry”.

He will return to court on December 3.

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