Chontel Duncan: I won’t shrink my goals to fit into someone else’s version of ‘feminine’

I’ve lived on social media for the last 15 years and I get people commenting on my body and the way I look all the time. This is how I stay resilient – and why others should, too.

I’ve been a fitness coach for over 14 years. I opened my own gym back in 2012, owned a franchise for more than eight years, and have trained clients online for almost seven years.

My husband and I even self-funded and developed our own fitness app, Neuform, which just recently celebrated its first birthday.

Chontel Duncan with her family. Picture: David Kelly

And somewhere in between all of that, I became a mum to five kids.

Throughout this journey, I’ve made a commitment to be open and vulnerable online, sharing the real highs and lows that come with motherhood, business, and my own personal fitness evolution. But with that honesty comes visibility and visibility often attracts criticism.

The harsh reality of online judgment

After 15 years of sharing my life publicly, I’ve been called everything from “too skinny” to “too bulky,” “too masculine,” “too tall,” even told that my before photos looked better than my afters.

Chontel Duncan is proud of her body and a mum of five.

I’ve had strangers comment on my weight being ‘too high for a woman,’ or accuse me of being unhealthy. And it’s so contradictory that it can make your head spin.

But I share this because I want others to know: even as a professional, I’m not immune. The trolling isn’t right but sadly, it’s common. And if it’s happening to me, I know it’s happening to so many others too. That’s why I speak openly about it to remind people that what makes you different isn’t something to hide or shrink from. It’s something to own.

You can be the juiciest peach on the shelf, and still, someone out there just doesn’t like peaches. The goal was never to please everyone it’s to feel strong, capable and healthy in the skin you’re in.

How I’ve built resilience

I’m not going to pretend it was easy. I started my career at 21. Now at 36, with four caesarean pregnancies behind me, (we had twins) my body has changed many times over and every stage has brought a new wave of unsolicited opinions.

Chontel Duncan is a fitness trainer who has a huge following on social media.

But over time, I’ve learnt that these comments say far more about the person behind the screen than they do about me. Often, it’s their own insecurities being projected outward. People who are fulfilled and content in themselves rarely feel the need to tear others down.

That perspective has helped me build resilience. And it’s a mindset I encourage anyone to adopt whether you’re in the public eye or just navigating your own personal journey. Because we all deserve to take up space, as we are.

Why I’ll never stop strength training

If anything, strength training has given me more than just physical strength it’s given me the confidence and inner stability to stand tall (literally, at 6’2”) and hold my ground.

Whether it’s lifting weights, Muay Thai, or hybrid training, fitness is my therapy. It’s where I find my clarity, my sanity, and my sense of self. And my message to every woman is simple: do what works for you. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t need the perfect plan to start. Just start. Move your body. Build momentum. Let it evolve.

Chontel has been a fitness influencer for years.

Even as a coach, I’m still learning. The science continues to shift. My body changes as I age. And more than ever, I’m thinking about longevity not aesthetics. I want to be able to run around after my grandkids one day maybe even 25 of them if my kids follow my lead! That’s the driver behind my training now. That’s my why.

Small shifts that change everything

Whether you’re battling online negativity or simply struggling with your own self-image, the most powerful thing you can do is build small daily rituals that serve how you want to feel.

It might start with making your bed first thing in the morning. Washing your face. Going for a walk every second day. Eventually, these small habits build into momentum that becomes your new normal. It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress.

Even on hard days and yes, I still have them I focus on what’s within my control. I’m proud of my body. I’m grateful for my family. I can’t change my height, and I certainly won’t shrink my goals to fit into someone else’s version of “feminine.”

I hope my story reminds others: You don’t need to fit the mould to be worthy, healthy, or successful. You just need to own your difference. That’s where your power is.

Chontel Duncan is a fitness trainer and mum-of-five with 1.2 million followers on Instagram.