Pregnancy diary: Coming to terms with the reality of giving birth and the complexities of it

I’ve been manifesting a beautiful birth but the reality is it might not happen and it’s likely not going to be in my control.

This is the seventh instalment of Imogen’s pregnancy diary, with a new chapter released every Sunday.

Part one: Why I was dumbstruck when I found out I was pregnant

Part two: The first doctor’s appointment, blood tests and dating scan

Part three: Photo reveals why pregnancy announcement didn’t go to plan

Part four: I had these dreams about my baby’s gender

Part five: My family’s devastating loss while I was pregnant

Part six: Testing the wives’ tales about babies to see if they have any truth to them

Each week, it’s getting more and more real that we’re going to be having a baby!

At one of the hospital appointments, my midwife gave me a whole stack of information about a range of baby and hospital-related things.

I went home and read information on things like when to come to the hospital, a birth plan template, types of pain relief, vaccinations for baby, how to introduce pets to a new baby and the classes the hospital offers.

From that reading, I learned that giving birth is not like in the movies where you start having contractions and it’s a mad rush to the hospital.

For many women, there’ll be a slow build, with contractions manageable at home for a while – sometimes for a day or more – before having to go into hospital.

You have to time the contractions and when they get close together and you can’t focus on anything else, that’s about when you need to go in.

Alongside that stack of info, Michael and I decided to do the four-week block of classes at the hospital to learn more about labour and birth, breastfeeding the baby and newborn care/postpartum recovery.

The classes were very informative, however it sometimes felt a little overwhelming to get all the info squeezed into two hours.

Imogen's baby bump at 20-odd weeks.

In the first class, we covered the stages of labour, pain relief options, when to come to hospital and what support people can do to assist.

Based on the information I learned in that class, I’d like to have a spontaneous labour, where your contractions begin naturally without induction, leading to a vaginal birth.

I’m open to lower types of pain relief, like a TENS machine, water injections and nitrous gas, but I would prefer to avoid a morphine IV and an epidural. However, I’m keeping an open mind that I might require those harder types of pain relief.

I’d also like no or very minimal interventions with forceps or a vacuum if possible.

I’m sure that sounds like many women’s ideal scenarios, and many first-time mums likely have a similar romanticised version of a beautiful birth.

But the second class made clear some of the realities of labour.

That class looked at variations to labour which included everything from needing to wear a CTG belt during labour (to monitor your contractions and the baby’s heart rate and oxygenation), having to have IV antibiotics for GBS (more on that later), all the way through to inductions, C-sections and instrumental births.

You may have to have IV antibiotics administered during your labour and birth if you’re a carrier for GBS.

The second class was quite full on and a little bit scary for me.

Throughout my pregnancy, I’ve been imagining – manifesting – my ideal birth, but this class highlighted that even if you do as much preparation as possible, you can’t really control how your baby decides to come into the world – which is the unnerving part.

You could be labouring with all your might and your baby might not move downwards at a rate that is safe for you both.

Babies work hard during labour too and if their – or your – heart rate shows signs of distress, then a vacuum may be needed to assist a quicker, safer delivery.

The baby may get stuck in an awkward position in your pelvis which could require forceps to help them rotate into a better position.

Your baby could be in a breech position and can’t be rotated to face head down before birth. Many hospitals will recommend a C-section delivery over a vaginal one in this instance, which could throw all your birth plans out the window.

These are just some of many examples of what could be required to bring your baby into the world and I think it’s important to remain open to the possibility that you or your baby may need some additional assistance to get through labour and birth safely.

The hospital class on breastfeeding made it clear that it is a learned skill that takes practise.

The third class covered breastfeeding and all the benefits it provides to mum and bub.

I was again struck by how incredible a woman’s body is and how without any instruction or conscious effort from me, my body will create breastmilk that is perfectly formulated to meet my baby’s exact needs.

That milk will change its formulation to suit the baby’s development and take on information from his saliva to determine which antibodies and nutrients he needs.

Again, all without my intervention. Just knowledge my body innately has.

The fourth class explored caring for a new baby at home and what to do and expect in the first hours, days, weeks and months.

It covered everything from what happens in hospital after you give birth – like the newborn blood screening test, the vitamin K injection and hearing test – to bathing the baby, baby behaviour, swaddling a baby, safe sleep and resources to get help and more information.

We also were shown the birthing suites at the hospital so we know where to go and what the room looks like on labour day.

With the classes done and dusted, we left the hospital feeling a bit surreal, knowing that the next time we’d be in that area is when I’m in labour.