Reject reality stars and childish drama: TV trends we hope die in 2017

FROM childish drama between rivals to reject reality stars clinging to their 15 minutes of fame – these are the Australian television trends that need to end.

WHILE wonderful, television can be a fairly predictable beast.

If something works well, expect it to be replicated until you absolutely can’t take it anymore.

And in this relatively small but ultra-competitive space, otherwise uninteresting people and events tend to shine brighter than they might deserve to.

We hope by some miracle that these common TV trends begin to die out in 2017.

Seven sued Nine over claims of who won the breakfast TV ratings year ... but does anyone care? Picture: Supplied

BREAKFAST TV WARS

As a TV writer, it’s easy to get caught up in the confected drama that plays out between the hours of six and nine o’clock in the morning.

After all, the race to number one between Sunrise on Seven and Today on Nine is a very tight one — and there’s a lot at stake for them.

But let’s be real. When the mud starts flying from either side, does anyone outside of the media industry really care about a tit-for-tat? Probably not.

The tit-for-tat between Sunrise and Today is getting tired. Picture: Supplied

Seven suing Nine overs claims of who won the ratings year, and a flurry of snarky statements that followed, was like two teenage girls having a scrap in the schoolyard after buying the same formal dress. Actually, that might be more interesting.

Play the ball, not the man or woman.

FAME-HUNGRY REALITY REJECTS

They have their local paparazzo on speed dial and make trips out, preened and gleaned to within an inch of their lives, just to get snapped.

Those ‘candid’ shots end up on some substance-lacking website with a few hundred words describing the outfit in intricate detail.

Michael Turnbull, who appeared in The Bachelorette more than a year ago, loves a photo.

When they’re not posing without looking like they’re posing, they’re flogging some crap on their Instagram feeds — coffee scrubs, teeth whitening products or a new active wear brand.

Or they’re going to the opening of an envelope, clinging to relevance for dear life.

Please, reality TV cast-offs, just go back to your day jobs.

We’re talking to you in particular, Bachelor and Bachelorette girls and guys. Don’t take your 15 minutes of fame and try to draw it out for an hour, it’s just sad.

BAD FILLER SHOWS

For all of the great shows that filled our screens this year, there were a few that were obviously thrown at the wall to see if they’d stick.

But they didn’t.

I’m talking about the likes of Kiss Bang Love, where a single person gets blindfolded and pashes a few dozen potential mates — also blindfolded — in a bid to find love.

Dating show Kiss Bang Love might just be the worst TV show of 2016. Picture: Supplied

Then there was Unreal Estate, a show about pretty houses, inexplicably hosted by comedian and radio presenter Kate Langbroek and comedian Cameron Knight.

CLINGING TO THE PAST

Some things are better left as fond memories rather than recreated and potentially ruined.

Breathing new life into old formats is a popular trend that exploded this year, with a flurry of telly remakes.

Netflix brought the Gilmore Girls back to life this year. Picture: AP

Some were good, many were bad, and there are more on the way.

I propose we quit while we’re ahead and enjoy re-runs of the originals rather than risk destroying a hit series’ legacy.

ANIMAL CLIP SHOWS

This time last year, we were promised that the unoriginal trend of packaging funny animal videos from the internet into a TV show was over.

They rated but it was a temporary thing, nothing more, they assured us.

And then they did it again this year, several times, with multiple networks getting in on the craze.

Pauline Hanson is a politician with an agenda — not an expert commentator. Picture: Supplied

‘EXPERTS’ DESIGNED TO OUTRAGE

There’s a news story about a refugee crisis in Europe, so what better person to get on your TV show than an anti-immigration lobbyist?

The marriage equality debate in Canberra heats up, so why not wheel in a bigot? Or if indigenous affairs is back on the agenda, enlist the resident offender to come on air.

Or if all three are hot button issues that day, Pauline Hanson is always a popular choice.

Gone are the days of expert commentators actually being experts, it seems. Can’t you ring in an academic or some sort of professional who has, say, facts and stuff to share?

Analysis stories and opinion pieces are in different sections of the paper for a reason. Why should TV be any different?

Dating shows are popular so expect networks to flog the genre until it’s well and truly dead. Picture: Supplied

DATING SHOW OVERLOAD

Like I said, when something works everyone wants to get in on the game.

This year saw an absolutely onslaught of dating-themed reality shows after the continued success of franchises like The Bachelor and Married At First Sight.

While it’s going to be dialled up next year, we wish it wouldn’t be. Too much of a good thing is a risk, and too much of a mediocre thing is downright undesirable.

Originally published as Reject reality stars and childish drama: TV trends we hope die in 2017