Secrets behind Melbourne’s oldest porn theatre, the Crazy Horse Cinema

Family men, CBD workers, tradies and even celebs are among this cinema’s patrons — along with one unlikely group of regulars.

Inside Club X, Melbourne’s longest-running pornography cinema. Picture: Jason Edwards

Melbourne’s longest-running porno cinema is closing after 50 years.

The Crazy Horse Cinema on Elizabeth St — formerly known as The Star — will be shuttered at the end of June, marking the end of an era, and the loss of another Melbourne institution.

“It’s very sad, because there is so much history here,” Jill Mellon-Robertson, a spokesperson for the cinema’s owners, Club X.

“But you have to keep moving. If you don’t adapt and keep moving with the market, you’re going to disappear. Your overheads and expenditure don’t go away because you love cinema. You’ve got to pay your bills and make it a viable venue.

“But we are losing an important piece of Melbourne history. Whether it’s the Star Cinema or Crazy Horse, it’s part of our culture, it’s part of Melbourne.”

The 50-seat Star Cinema opened in the 1950s and screened everything from newsreels to cartoons, an comedies to Victorian Football League games.

“It really is a throwback to another time,” film historian and drive-in cinema operator David Kilderry said.

Its flashing lights can be seen on Elizabeth St. Picture: Jason Edwards

“It’s incredible that it’s survived this long. I mean, you can’t even find these cinemas in Paris or London now. Times Square in New York is cleaned up.

“So it’s a real credit to The Star and Crazy Horse, that they’ve held out for this long.”

In the 1960s, after TV killed off the popularity of newsreels, The Star switched to exploitation cinema, including films about voodoo or cannibalism.

“Those films would really push boundaries,” Mr Kilderry said. “Interestingly, they would cut out caucasian nudity, but run African, Caribbean or Asian nudity. People in the know knew they could go there and watch some topless dancing.”

A decade later, bottomless horizontal dancing was added to the menu, with R-rated films approved for screening. Soon after, The Star blazed a trail as Australia’s first sex cinema.

The cinema was bought in the mid-1980s by Club X owner, Kenneth Hill.

However, with X-rated films available on video tapes, Mr Hill installed a short catwalk and two poles in the cinema, introducing live shows to the mix.

The Crazy Horse Cinema was born.

Inside the Melbourne institution. Picture: Jason Edwards

“That hit the mark because there were queues out the door, and around the block,” Ms Mellon-Robertson said.

Today, the flashing lights and colourful staircase still try to beckon and entice visitors, but with the internet offering porn on demand, and more importantly, in private, Crazy Horse has lost its horsepower.

Downstairs, there’s friendly faces and no judgment.

There’s also a ticket booth, cubicles facing a peep show room, where customers pay to view a performer through a clear window, and, of course, the cinema, with every seat covered in red faux leather.

“Much of it is how it would have been with the original cinema,” Ms Mellon-Robertson says.

“On a good day, this would be half full. And it’s a great room. Wherever you sit, you’ve got a good view of the screen.

“But, it’s past its use-by date,” she says. “We know that.”

They also know the regulars, and the routine and reassurance the porno venue gives them.

They include a pensioner group, predominantly men, who gather at the cinema, soon after it opens at 10am.

The adult entertainment venue is set to close its doors. Picture: Jason Edwards

A historical image of Crazy Horse cinema.

“It’s a meeting place for them. They’ve been coming here for so many years. It’s become family, like a little community,” Ms Mellon-Robertson says.

The all-day ticket — $10 for pensioners — means they can come-and-go as they please, with the option to return for another movie or live show.

“It allows them to be their own sexual selves,” Ms Mellon-Robertson says. “Just because you start to age doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a sexual appetite.”

Tradies usually visit around 11am.

“They have their morning break around then,” Ms Mellon-Robertson said. “They will quite often come in, watch a film, then go back to work.”

Suits and CBD workers usually land around lunchtime.

“We’ve had barristers and QCs. Some of them would come in three or four times a week,” Ms Mellon-Robertson said. “A lot of them don’t want to be seen, but we know a few of them by name.”

Crazy Horse was originally The Star cinema, screening titles like The Amorous Milkman.

The Star blazed a trail as Australia’s first sex cinema.

Family men also visit the venue because they don’t want to access porn on a home computer or mobile phone.

Ms Mellon-Robertson says famous footballers and a high profile boxer, and his entourage, were also regulars at the venue.

“We would never photograph them or name them. We respect their privacy,” Ms Mellon-Robertson said. “They’re here because they want to be.”

The venue has also hosted gay nights and couples events.

The peep show acts pays a small fee to the venue, Ms Mellon-Robertson says, which allows them to perform in a safe space.

She added: “All the girls do their own shows; some use products, some don’t. But they don’t

have contact with anybody. They’re able to support themselves, their way.

“The better the show, the better the money they earn, but it’s all determined by them. We don’t tell them what to do.

Inside the small cinema, where each seat has a good view of the screen. Picture: Jason Edwards

“Some have put themselves through university. Some became lawyers and doctors.”

There have been a few sticky situations over the years.

In 1986, a member of the advisory council to the Prostitution Control Board reported on a “risque show” at the Crazy Horse “where you could see all her pink bits.”

The case went court where it was discovered there were no pink bits, only pink tape strapping.

“It was hard to get girls in those days,” Ms Mellon-Robertson said. “We had to use female impersonators.”

Fast forward to 2022, and Club X will turn the basement building into a retail space.

“The (Crazy Horse) audience has diminished because of the internet. But love it or hate it, nonviolent erotica is part and parcel of our lives. That cinema is part of the history and intrigue of Melbourne.”

Ms Mellon-Robertson said the new retail space might include a hairdresser and makeover salon called — wait for it — Blow And Go.