Page 13: The coastal spot where celebrities have flocked

Seems like every man and his dog is by the beach this time of year and one coastal locale has been overrun with famous faces.

Maaaate! Here’s hoping golf is still on at 13th Beach this week, everyone is dropping like flies with the virus.

Caught up at the 19th hole the other day. Ol’ mate David Schwarz was having a round there – you know, The Ox? Great bloke. A few Cats players were also hitting a few. But the Tomahawk, who we hear hits it a mile, hangs out at the swish club on the hill with the grass so manicured you could eat off it.

Don’t bother! We have tried but it’s almost impossible to get put up for membership. We hear the members at the Barwon Heads Golf Club are weighing up spending $10-15m on refurbishing the clubhouse, which is about as old as the seaside town itself. There was even loose talk of putting a ten-pin bowling alley in. Fair suck of the sauce bottle! But gee, that’s one great track.

Cadel Evans used to have a house on the peninsula but it seems too popular for his taste now.

No one has a bad word about Matt Preston on the golf course at Point Lonsdale.

Talking of golf, everyone is raving about the new course over at Lonny. Ol’ mate reckons the new Lonsdale Links Club was ranked in Australia’s top 50 courses in its debut last year.

Matt Preston has been seen on the tee, and don’t the old ducks over there just fawn over him and his tartan trews. Good bloke. No one has a bad word about him.

Back to the club chatter and it was all about the Barwon Heads Hotel, or BHP as we call the pub, which is supposedly the latest to be caught up in Covid. John Taylor – you know, the owner, ripping bloke – says it’s all because of staff shortages. You can also put that down to the virus. A sign out the front said “staff shortages”, and the Torquay pub has also gone dry.

Perc Jones, the old Carlton ruckman, was sitting on his perch at the roundabout on Hitchcock Ave as usual when I gave the ol’ labrador a stroll yesterday. Quite a few of the Famous Old Dark Blues are on this side of the bay. Mark Maclure, Big Nick, Kenny Hunter, Ian Collins and a few others came over on the ferry to celebrate John Goold’s 80th at his property near Camperdown. Geoff Southby lives over at Ocean Grove, which is also the home to Carlton’s new star, Sam Walsh.

Brit and Joel Selwood were seen fishing on the peninsula.

Some Geelong royalty is a recent edition with skipper Joel Selwood and his lovely wife Brit making the Heads home. They built a flash pad up near the golf course which the locals call the Cats’ Ears. The house looks like it has two pointy ears.

The Selwoods love that they don’t get harassed down here as we’re all used to having big names among us. Brit even gets down to the pier for a bit of fishing, I kid you not, and if you don’t believe us I guarantee it will be on her Instagram account or whatever that thing is.

Tour de France winner Cadel Evans had a house down here when he was the biggest thing going around, though we don’t see him as much as we used to. But don’t get me started about those pudgy middle-aged cyclists who clog up our roads and then leave their fancy bikes littered all over our cafes like down at Starfish. For crying out loud, you’d think it was Beach Rd, Brighton!

How’s all the racket about NoVax, the anti-Danners down here are frothing, although when it comes to athletes, different strokes, hey.

The blokes down at the dog beach at Ocean Grove can’t be stopped with their Dictator Dan ranting. They are all in such furious agreement! But you can’t find a RAT test to save yourself down here. Few of those anti-vaxxers round here, thankfully they’re mostly up in the hinterland.

The dreaded ’Rona isn’t the only lurgy doing the rounds on the Bellarine, the mozzies are back and they carry this Bairnsdale ulcer thing, which is real nasty.

But it doesn’t worry the well-to-do Toorak set who have their holiday shacks down here and we’re talking big bucks. The Airbnbs are cleaning up at around $8000 a week. Strewth.

A clothing line from the family of singer-songwriter Xavier Rudd is going gangbusters, with all the youngsters wearing it.

Silvana and Mark Philippoussis were spotted on the Esplanade in Torquay.

Meanwhile, the Rudd family down Torquay way – you know the one with the good surfie singer Xavier Rudd – are on a roll. Their Ghanda clothing biz, which they started from the back of their car, is going gangbusters. All the young ’uns are wearing it.

There’s new and old money down here. Alf Gange, who was the biggest owner in Silver Top taxis, built a four-storey mansion at Ocean Grove, complete with an indoor swimming pool and eight-car underground garage.

Alf caught a cab to the great unknown last year and the house has sold for a reputed $6-8m. As I said, big money these days.

Bumped into the Poo down at Pond on the Esplanade while in Torquay. You know, Mark Philippoussis. Phwoar, how’s about his missus? She is a bit of all right. S’pose I’m not allowed to say that these days, will get me head bitten off from the old lady, not to mention the young ’uns who are constantly threatening I’ll get cancelled or something. Aren’t they all so touchy?

Had a small flutter after stopping past the Beach House Bar and Restaurant on Hitchcock Ave, which has Barwon Heads Brewery on tap.

Perc Jones’ ol mate Brian Andrews and his son Tom have their own master brewer, so I took a sip of their pale ale while going over the form guide. Melbourne Cup winner Danny O’Brien had a few horses jumping over hurdles at the pony club down at the Barwon Heads common the other day. He’s quickly become a favourite around here with stables just out of town, and you will find him at Annie’s deli a couple times a week chowing down on his bacon and eggs.

Plenty of media types around, too. You’ll find Mark Howard on his electric skateboard in between broadcasting the Ashes and Ian Cover from the Coodabeens having a yak outside the IGA. They’ve jumped ship from the ABC after kicking off there 50 years ago and will start this year on 3MP and the Ace Radio network, which certainly had tongues wagging.

Anyways, got to run and pick up a dozen oysters from the Barwon Heads airport to keep the missus happy. The seafood shop is a hidden gem and the oysters went down beautifully with a few Crownies the other week after I won the meat tray from Benno’s the butcher in the Stableford comp.

Happy days.