Improv legend Akmal returns to Melbourne Comedy Festival with Transparent
He might be a compulsive jokester, but Akmal is capable of deep thoughts about big issues such as God, death and what lurks under the Pope’s dress.
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If Akmal has a showbiz ego he keeps it well hidden.
Having established himself as one of Australia’s premier stand-up acts after nearly 30 years on the circuit, Akmal, now 54, is as self-effacing as ever.
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Sitting in the unadorned Green Room at the Athenaeum, Akmal considers how his show Open for Renovation — or Transparent, he doesn’t really care — will play the huge room at Palms.
“Comedy has to be intimate,” he says. “There are these guys who do stadiums, and I’ve been offered stadiums, but I’ve said ‘Nah’.
“Last year was great because I was in a smaller room, so there were less empty seats, and the less empty seats the better for me because people tend to be better than furniture when you’re doing comedy. Generally speaking, not always.”
Much of Akmal’s routines these days are improvised, but like a lot of top-shelf improvisers such as Scottish comedian Craig Hill, Akmal has rehearsed routines on standby if his improv starts going south.
“Having prepared material is like working the trapeze with a safety net,” he says. “You want to impress people, but you don’t want to break your neck — or break your ego, which takes even longer to heal, by the way.”
As joke-prone as Akmal is in conversation, he can drift into seriously deep thoughts about big topics.
Once a devout agnostic, Akmal feels himself warming to some form of deity.
“When I was young I thought, ‘this is rubbish, I hate all of it, it’s nonsense, it’s all about controlling people’. And a lot of it is, but then you age a little bit and you start to reflect and the anger goes.’’
Consequently, the nature of consciousness has been on his mind.
“If you think of life as a dream, [think of how] when you dream you don’t know that you’re dreaming. You think it’s real. If somebody chases you in a dream you actually sweat, your heart beats, then you suddenly wake up.
“So maybe death is really the awakening. Death is when you wake up out of the dream and life is just an extended dream, or an illusion. It makes a lot of sense.”
Akmal suddenly shakes himself out of ‘deep-thoughts’ mode.
“This is not a great comedy show, by the way! ‘I’ll be talking about your inevitable demise! Have a good night everybody!’”
And warming towards an Almighty doesn’t exactly entail any love for the papacy.
“Imagine the Pope without that dress and hat,” he says. “If you imagine him in pyjamas, or a G-string, suddenly his authority is diminished quickly.”
He’s on a roll.
“Imagine him when he gets down and kisses the floor. I always wanted to know what he wears under that skirt. I’m sure it’s something really sensual and erotic. One day the wind will blow and you will see the Pope’s ring.”
Having moved here with his family from Egypt when he was eight, Akmal is about as Aussie as you can get. Yet he feels the blowback from today’s climate of xenophobia, getting suspicious looks and being harassed online by trolls.
“I do feel it and it is growing,” he says. “It is scary, and it’s scary for all of us, whether you’re ethnic or not because if there’s trouble, everyone suffers. Everyone is affected.”
For about the past five years Akmal has been an ambassador for the Top Blokes Foundation, which guides boys and young men in matters of health, education and conduct. He holds the position proudly.
“I’m not a person who should be giving advice, because I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life,” he says. “I’ve made some very stupid decisions and held grudges and all those stupid things that make your life more complicated than it needs to be.
“But when people ask me to talk to young people, I say that the golden rule is the best. Jesus said it, but Confucius said it in a better way.
“Jesus said: ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. But I do a lot of things to myself that I wouldn’t want to do unto others!
“But Confucius said: ‘Don’t do unto others what you do not want done to you’, which I think is much clearer, much more eloquent. He was the real Messiah.”
OUR REVIEW OF AKMAL, TRANSPARENT
Rating: ★★★½
Reviewer: Joe Calleri
Akmal’s hour-long comedy show, Transparent, is about the bald, nuggety, black-clad, 53-year old comedian riffing and improvising LOUDLY about everything and nothing; where audiences, who don’t mind a bit of good-natured rib-poking, become material fodder; and where the atmosphere and performer are so relaxed, you can get up whenever you like to get a drink.
Akmal’s show is all sound and fury, and having a few chuckles, while the show’s thin, loose (dare I call it transparent?) structure makes it ideal comedy fare the masses should love — while also loving their beers.
Akmal, Transparent, April 5, 12, 13, The Palms at Crown Casino.
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