Boys’ school headmaster’s dire warning on ‘nightmare parties’

Melbourne Grammar’s headmaster has revealed his thoughts on students’ weekend antics, asking “where is the joy?” in some hard partying ways.

Melbourne Grammar School's principal has issued a warning to parents on “nightmare parties”.

One of state’s most respected principals has urged parents to step up and learn to say “no” to their teens.

Melbourne Grammar School headmaster Philip Grutzner told parents at the top boys’ school that too often out of school night time parties were turning into “nightmare parties”.

Since the flood of claims by teenage girls of sexual assault and misogynist treatment, the school has outlined what it is doing to model good behaviour but Mr Grutzner said parents should not shirk their responsibility.

“Parties are an important social outlet for teenagers,” he said. “Under the right circumstances, they should be encouraged.

“However, regularly, MGS staff and I are advised about a night time party that turned into a nightmare party.

“Where is the joy in a birthday party that is gatecrashed by strangers or where guests are physically or sexually assaulted, where alcohol misuse arises, illicit drugs are present, the house is damaged, neighbours are disturbed and the police are required to intervene?”

He said the two most important things parents should tell teenage children is “I love you” and “no”.

Melbourne Grammar School headmaster Philip Grutzner.

Mr Grutzner, who moved from co-ed Carey Grammar to head his former school last year, said parents were not their child’s best friend.

“Part of that love is to set and maintain clear boundaries. Saying no is not always easy, especially when it comes to parents negotiating expectations surrounding teenage parties,” the father of two girls said.

“We have the communications revolution to deal with, students make quicker and wider connections with others via the web, email and text messaging. They are more materially wealthy than any generation, are probably more demanding, more willing to challenge authority, and want far greater freedom,” he said.

While he preferred compassion and understanding to judgment and accusation, he said structure, routine and discipline were vital.

Earlier, Mr Grutzner outlined the work around teaching students to understand consent and that it could be withdrawn at any time.

He says the problem is not just male only schools and is present at co-ed and independent and government schools.