Barefoot Investor’s advice on love, cars and Heather’s $30k dilemma

Scott Pape tells a young woman whose boyfriend has left them $30,000 in debt because of his car addiction that they should offload the vehicle and she should consider a trade-in of her own.

Scott Pape is The Barefoot Investor. Picture: Jason Edwards

It’s been an emotional week.

Eleven years ago, a fire tore through our farm and took everything we owned. We were left with just the clothes on our backs. Our baby? Just his nappy.

Yet this week, as I walked through our home, one thought kept hitting me over and over:

Where the hell did all this crap come from?

For years I’d blamed our four kids, because they’re messy (and it deflects from my own shortcomings). However, the truth was that we’ve been unconsciously living by the motto, ‘Why get rid of something when you can shove it in a cupboard and forget about it forever?’

Scott Pape and wife Liz survey what was left standing after the bushfire.

And so, on the anniversary of the fires, I was determined to return to minimalism. I even dusted off the multi-million-copy bestseller The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. Her advice is to pull out everything you own and ask a simple question:

“Does this spark joy?”

Hmmm.

If I actually did this, I’d be left stark naked holding my prized chestnut cracker.

For this project I needed something a little more … hardcore.

Enter: Swedish Death Cleaning.

Swedish death cleaning (or ‘döstädning’) was coined by Margareta Magnusson, a Swedish woman who found herself drowning in the possessions of her late parents.

After lugging boxes of broken appliances, sifting through drawers of expired soy sauce packets, and collecting enough souvenir teaspoons to open a museum, she had an epiphany: “Why am I dealing with all this crap? And, more importantly, why would I do this to my own kids?”

Renowned Japanese tidying expert Marie Kondo.

So, with death on my mind, I tackled the kitchen, creating three piles:

The first was ‘recycle or throw out’. The second was ‘donate’. (Together these added up to around 80% of the stuff that we’d been hanging on to.)

The final, much smaller, pile was ‘keep’.

Yet I wanted to go the full Swedish. I realised that we might not need, say, a set of fancy spatulas, so I placed them in a big box with a lot of other ‘maybes’ and placed the box on the veranda. I’ve put a reminder in my phone for one month’s time. If I haven’t needed or used anything from that box, I’ll donate it.

Marie Kondo was right – getting rid of your stuff really does have life-changing benefits:

First, it lightens your mental load, especially if you’re ruthless.

Second, it makes you really value the stuff you keep.

Oh, and as a bonus, some of the stuff you give away may actually spark joy for someone else.

Tread your own path!

My Boyfriend’s Addiction Has Cost US $30,000

Dear Barefoot,

I’m 25, and I’m really worried about how much my partner has lost on cars. He loves them, and I used to love that too – until his latest purchase, a $30,000 sporty luxury car (bought with a personal loan), turned into a financial nightmare.

Expensive insurance, high running costs, and a brutal commute wore it down, then the engine blew – costing us $9000.

We cut our losses, bought a more practical (but still fun) VW Golf, and listed the old car for sale, but no one’s biting.

We’ve dropped the price below $19,000, but we’re getting lowballed, and I’m terrified we’ll lose close to $30,000 overall.

To top it off, he thinks I should buy my own car because I can’t drive a manual. I love him but I feel so helpless. I’ve always been frugal, and seeing this much money vanish hurts. Can you please tell me it’s going to be okay?

Heather

A flood of second-hand vehicles is currently overwhelming the market. Picture: Daily Telegraph / Monique Harmer

Hi Heather,

Your partner is acting like my four-year-old, who spends all his pocket money on Tonka trucks (though at least he pays with his pocket money, rather than taking out personal loans like your partner does).

Now there is something your petrolhead partner probably knows … that he isn’t telling you:

This is possibly the worst year to be selling a second-hand car.

That’s because right now a flood of second-hand vehicles is overwhelming the market, with the Australian Automotive Dealer Association (AADA) reporting a surge in listings but a sharp drop in sales.

Cars are currently sitting on the market for nearly 49 days, and the AADA says 2025 is shaping up to be a bloodbath for sellers.

So, what to do?

Well, I think it’s time for your little boy to pack up his toys. This car needs to go, yesterday.

I don’t care what he ‘believes it’s worth’ – he clearly ain’t an expert, and it’s a rapidly depreciating hunk of metal. So, if I were in your shoes, I’d drop the price aggressively, sell it, and clear as much of that loan as possible.

If he still owes money on the loan, he needs to work his backside off to cover the difference.

Finally, let’s talk about you for a second. You say you’re frugal, yet you’re watching your financial future get torched. You can’t build wealth when your partner is setting it on fire, Heather.

So, on your next Date Night you need to sit down, lay out the numbers, and have a genuine conversation about the fact that one of your core values is financial security.

If he’s not willing to change, you might need to consider a trade-in of your own.

Oh, and one last thing: he thinks you should buy a car?

No. You should learn to drive a manual. Problem solved – at zero cost!

My Mother Is Acting Like a Teenager

Hi Scott,

I’m nearly 18 and the only one bringing in money for my family. Mum’s been out of work for 17 years – tried a job but quit due to bullying.

Dad pays minimal child support and, despite cutting costs, we’re drowning in bills. Mum ‘borrowed’ $1700 from my savings, leaving me with $2100, and now she and my sister want to start a clothing business.

I’ve started a part-time job, but I feel pressured to cover our expenses. I get $200 a fortnight from Centrelink and I’m expecting a $20,000 injury payout that I wanted to invest.

I love Mum, and she’s sacrificed so much, but I’m about to start uni and I have my own goals. How do I support my family without sacrificing my future?

Kelly

Barefoot tells a teenager to consider putting her financial windfall in a term deposit or low-cost share index fund.

Hi Kelly

First of all, I just want to take a moment to recognise how awesome and mature you are: there are very few 18-year-olds who would have the insight and emotional intelligence to write me a letter like you’ve just done.

Now it sounds like the roles are reversed in your household: your mum is acting like a teenager and you are playing the role of the responsible adult. That’s a lot to take on, but I have the sense that you’re up to the challenge, Kelly.

Here’s what I’d suggest.

First, protect that payout. A $20,000 windfall at your age is life-changing. Consider sticking it in a locked-off term deposit, or in a low-cost share index fund, where it’s out of reach but still growing. Whatever you do, don’t let guilt drain it away.

Second, sit down with your mum and lay out the hard truth: you’re going to uni, you’re not funding the household anymore, and she needs a real job, not a business gamble.

Finally, you’re about to start your adult life. Set up your Barefoot Buckets, save aggressively, and focus on uni. Helping isn’t giving your family money – it’s showing them what real financial responsibility looks like.

DISCLAIMER: Information and opinions provided in this column are general in nature and have been prepared for educational purposes only. Always seek personal financial advice tailored to your specific needs before making financial and investment decisions.