Barefoot Investor tells busy dad on $400k a year to get his priorities clear

A young dad can’t decide if he should quit his time-consuming $400,000-a-year job and homeschool his kids or keep working to secure his family’s financial future. Barefoot has the answer.

Scott Pape is The Barefoot Investor. Picture: Jason Edwards

Happy Father’s Day!

Long-time readers know this is a very special day for me.

And I have an annual tradition that has been called ‘the greatest gift’ by families across the country.

Yet, before we get to it, let’s kick off today with a dad who wrote to me with a confession:

Hi Scott,

After following the Barefoot Steps for many years, we’re only a couple of years from being financially free, owning two homes outright, and having a decent share portfolio.

The trouble is, I’ve achieved it by throwing myself into high-risk, high-responsibility, high-time requirement (but also high-paying – $400,000 a year) jobs that have dragged my wife and four kids around the world.

I just turned forty and started reflecting on what I do and why. I’ve missed most of my kids’ lives by, ironically, trying to provide a better life for them.

I’m seriously considering chucking this dangerous but lucrative work in, moving back to rural Tasmania, and homeschooling them for a year (maybe more) before they’re too old to forgive me for being absent while trying to give them a better start than I had.

Everyone says I’m mad for contemplating giving up this life and the rewards that come with it, that the kids are ‘resilient’ and will be okay without me around, that in this economic climate stable income is more important.

And I figure that, for them to have a good start in this property market, I need to have a lot in the bank to help them climb the ‘property ladder’.

At least I believed all that in my thirties, but now I’m starting to question that message.

You talk about ‘swinging on the trapeze’ and not letting a good job go before you’re set up on the next one. Well, it’ll take five to ten years to switch from what I do to something I can do in Hobart, and by then it’ll be too late – I’ll have missed all of their childhoods.

What do you think, Barefoot? Are some things worth more than security?

Or should I be earning and saving as much as possible to help them get established later? Am I crazy to want to throw this job (and possibly their property futures) away to homeschool and be part of the best years of their lives?

Ned

Time with kids goes by far too quickly, says Scott Pape.

Hi Ned

It sounds like you’ve got a lot of daddy guilt going on.

So, to your question: do I think you should quit your job and homeschool your kids in Tasmania?

HELL NO!

Have you seen the pressure teachers are under these days?

It’s a complete dumpster fire and with homeschooling you can’t even send them home at the end of the day!

Here’s my two bob’s worth, Ned.

The fact that someone is paying you $400,000 a year means you’re a very valuable person. Normal people don’t get paid $400,000 (well, unless they hold a lollipop for the CFMEU’s Big Build project).

Here’s the deal: you’ve reached high up the employment tree – now you need to start acting like it.

How do you do that?

Well, here’s a simple reframe that I learnt from my old man.

I’m not ‘the Barefoot Investor who also happens to be a dad’.

I’m a ‘dad who also happens to be the Barefoot Investor’.

This is why I resisted scaling my business into funds management, or financial planning, or the million other highly lucrative, highly stressful opportunities that big corporations have tried to entice me into.

It also explains why I don’t write during the school holidays … and also my annoying habit of packing up and travelling with my kids for months on end.

Does that annoy my editor and mean that I have missed out on lucrative opportunities?

You bet!

Barefoot says life is about trade-offs - between earning more money and spending more time with your kids.

Do I care?

No, because my priorities are clear:

These are the good old days – right now with my family – and they go by far too quickly.

And the good old days aren’t just holidays to Disneyland. Jerry Seinfeld warns parents about the trap of seeking ‘quality time’ with their kids:

“Me, I want the garbage time with my kids … when nothing is happening … like it’s 11pm and one of my kids says ‘Do you want to have a bowl of cereal, Dad?’ And I’m like, ‘sure’. We’re just hanging out. It’s nothing. But it’s everything.”

Ned, life is about trade-offs:

In order to have ‘garbage time’ with your kids, you need to be at home, and not at the office.

And, even when you are home, you need to be mentally present and on the couch, and not on your phone or worrying about what’s happening at the office.

And how do you do that?

Well, Ned, you’re a dad who also happens to be very good at what you do in your career.

So let your employer know that. Tell them that you want to be able to come home and be present with your kids and not be stressed out. Now that may mean you take on less responsibility and earn less money. That’s okay. (After all, you’re financially set up, and you could still be king of the hill on half your current salary.)

Twenty years from now, the only people who’ll remember you worked back late will be your kids. Remember, you’re a valuable person to your organisation. But you are most valuable to your family.

Happy Father’s Day!

The Ultimate Father’s Day Present

Hi Scott,

A few years back (2018 to be precise) I was reading one of your emails and you suggested we all grab a phone and video our parents; you offered a few key questions. I happened to be visiting my parents at the time and just did it then and there.

This was very unlike me as I have the classic ADHD trait of reading something, telling myself I will absolutely positively do that, and then never, ever thinking of it again.

I’m so glad this time was different. We lost our beautiful dad on December 5th. He was the very best of men and fathers. You would have really liked him. The loss of him feels immense. We captured lots of memories and moments over the years, but I would never have been able to hear his thoughtful, measured guidance, in that deep gravelly comforting voice, without your article.

I can’t express what a gift it is to have or how grateful I am. I’m pretty sure you can imagine the number of tears on my keyboard as I try and get through this.

Anyway, I’m rambling! Your books and financial advice and the difference you are making for people all around the world is extraordinary, but for our family just now a simple suggestion you made six years ago is what is helping heal our hearts.

In loving memory of Neil Martin.

The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift will become your family’s legacy.

What an awesome letter, right?

Truth be told, I’ve received hundreds of messages like this in the 10 years since I first wrote about the Ultimate Father’s Day Present. I started the idea in honour of my own father-in-law, who I never got the chance to meet: he died when Liz was a teenager.

So, if you’re lucky enough to have your father still with you, here’s how you can give him the Ultimate Father’s Day Present. Go and see him, whip out your phone, hit ‘record’, and ask him the following questions:

1. How did you meet Mum?

2. What advice can you share with me about money, life and happiness?

3. What does being a dad mean to you?

4. What are you most proud of?

5. How would you like to be remembered?

This is not for Facebook or Snapchat. It’s for you and your family’s legacy. One day, it’s all you’ll have left of him.

And you’ll treasure it.

Tread Your Own Path!

Information and opinions provided in this column are general in nature and have been prepared for educational purposes only. Always seek personal financial advice tailored to your specific needs before making financial and investment decisions