Ann Wason Moore says there is three things you can’t do while on a domestic flight

A passenger has shared the moment they watched a man do a ‘monstrous thing’ while sitting in economy on a flight from Melbourne to the Gold Coast. Read what they did

It’s just plain plane etiquette.

Forget your boarding pass, forget your frequent flyer membership, fail this test of aircraft courtesies and your passport should be cancelled.

Not to be too much of a whinger, (just kidding, I’m in my 40s … this is my peak Karen era), but in my recent travels it was not just our Qantas carrier that was sub-par.

While the vast majority of my fellow passengers were delightful, there were those few who made travelling in cattle-class truly feel like a barnyard experience – because they were absolute pigs.

qantas airbus a330 200 plane

And I know I’m not alone.

A friend who just this weekend somehow managed to fly in the midst of the Crowdstrike chaos said the worst part of her epically awful experience was not the multi-hour wait, nor the change or airlines, but one of those along for the ride.

How you travel is a true testament to who you are as a person. I would recommend any couple to take a trip together before they journey down the aisle. If they fail any of the following, it’s a sign to let that red flag fly solo, literally and figuratively, in the future.

WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT QANTAS AFTER ANN WASON MOORE TOOK AIM AT THE CARRIER

The recline of civilisation

It’s the great chair debate: do you use that little silver button to push back and travel in comfort – while creating discomfort for others – or do you suffer in stoic and upright silence?

Here’s the rule we need to follow: if your flight is less than five hours, you’re sitting up straight. More than that and you can RIP … recline in peace.

What is absolutely not OK is what the fellow flying on Crowdtsrike night did. I’ll quote my fellow Karen here:

“This is a monstrous thing to do in domestic economy. This runt of a man did it on to this sick old guy who could barely fit. No cares given.”

Man reclines seat in domestic economy from Melbourne to Gold Coast.

Ironically, anyone who complains about reclining a seat on a long-haul flight is also the a-hole. If you’re travelling 15 hours non-stop and you want me to sit bolt upright because you’re 6ft5, upgrade your seat buddy.

That’s my one perk of being 5ft4 and you will snatch my silver button only from my cold, dead hands.

Remember people, five hours is the magic number.

Space invaders

You’ve just made yourself comfortable, you have all your belongings carefully stowed in precise positions, you might even be sipping on a hot beverage … and then it happens – the person behind you decides to use your headrest as their lever to stand.

Hot beverages cascade down your chest, you kick forward in surprise, the person in front aggressively reclines in retaliation … that one move can trigger all-out economy warfare.

If you do need that bit of assistance to stand, please use your armrests.

Although, speaking of armrests, please remember you only get one. Sure, you can use both to bodily lift yourself, but otherwise it’s single use only.

And, I implore you, please keep your legs together. This is not for the ladies but the manspreaders. Your legs stay in your space, angle them if you need, but not into my area.

Again, if it’s too uncomfortable, you may need to upgrade. Alternatively, I’m willing to rent out my space if you pay.

Finally, while this should not need to be said, please watch the placement of knees and feet as pertains to the seat in front of you. Your lower limbs can be a real pain in the backside.

Hand of an airplane passenger is placed on an armrest during sitting at the economy class row.

PLANE FORCED TO MAKE PRIORITY LANDING IN BRISBANE

Impatient imbeciles

We all know this guy. He’s desperate to embark so that he can …. sit longer?

The seats are assigned, so I’ve never understood the competition to be first on-board. Sure you’re guaranteed space in the overhead locker, but even this last-in-liner has never missed out.

But it’s when it’s time to land that it’s really this guy’s time to shine.

The wheels have yet to touch the tarmac and his seatbelt is undone.

The unfasten seatbelt sign dings and he’s already swinging his bag down from the overhead locker, often right into your head.

As everyone else calmly and quietly gathers their possessions, this dude is ready to roll.

But the only race he’s winning is being the first to wait.

Great job, buddy, you got up first … but you’re still stuck in row 45.

People standing up once the plane has landed. Photo: Istock