Why salty Melbourne journos just can’t handle the Gold Coast

They have brutal weather, worse traffic and can’t handle a curry. But these mopey Melburnians would take gold for griping after their Glitter Strip visit, writes Ann Wason Moore.

Jealousy is a curse.

And it seems no destination is more jinxed by envy than miserable Melbourne, which perhaps is why sullen southerners slam our fair city for sport.

Two journalists from the Daily Fail, I mean Daily Mail, wrote up a scathing account of their holiday on the Gold Coast, stating “the family favourite destination has gone to rot”.

From the horror of seeing *shock* homeless people, to criticising accommodation houses after booking the wrong hotel and even whinging about the quality of a late night curry, these Victorians were full of vinegar.

They found the sight of suntanned homeless people “makes for depressing viewing as sun-loving families make their way past these shanties to frolic in the waves in their designer bathers”.

Gee, I’m so sorry we didn’t sweep all the homeless people out of sight for your visit. Coming from Melbourne, I’m sure it was indeed a rare phenomenon for you to witness.

The irony, of course, being that part of the reason our homeless numbers have increased is because of the sheer number of Melbournites and Sydney-siders moving to our city and displacing the locals.

These journos also make mention of the homeless “staring blankly” outside abandoned businesses in Surfers Paradise. Which is weird, because Ray White Surfers Paradise Group chair Andrew Bell said research showed that commercial real estate vacancies in the suburb were now the lowest in 30 years.

Life on the Gold Coast.

Life in Melbourne.

And it wasn’t just Surfers that copped a spray. The article, written by Wayne Flower and Paul Shapiro, stated that “Coolangatta, near the New South Wales border, is just as depressing, if not worse than Surfers”.

Why is it so bad? Please allow Mr Flower to elaborate:

“After an eight-hour drive with my teenage son, the Coolangatta Sands Hotel rejected our accommodation booking because he couldn’t prove he was 18,” he wrote.

“In fairness to the hotel, it was a condition in the ‘house rules’ buried way down at the bottom of the rental listing on booking.com.”

Riiight. So that was user error then, nothing to do with Coolangatta or the hotel.

More complaints followed about having to wait too long for a table at a restaurant and that plates were not cleared fast enough.

Once again, southerners are a little bit to blame for a lack of hospitality staff since few of these workers can afford to live and work in this city since the great migration from NSW and Victoria.

But my favourite complaint was from Paul Shapiro, who warned tourists to avoid a late night Indian takeaway joint.

“The two curries I tried, a supposed chicken tikka masala and a purported vindaloo, both tasted burnt.”

Mr Shapiro, you are so lucky it was only your mouth burning. If you opt for a takeaway late night curry in Surfers, you literally are asking for a crap outcome.

Oh the horror.

Speaking of crap, the pair also complained about the weather. And yes, they are from Melbourne.

I mean, c’mon Mayor Tom Tate, fix the clouds already won’t you?

They do, however, acknowledge that “many Victorians who have moved to the Gold Coast will swear it’s the best decision they ever made”.

Finally, some facts.

Indeed, the numbers don’t lie when it comes to the Gold Coast’s continued popularity as a holiday and lifestyle destination.

The city hosted 12.3 million visitors who spent a whopping $7.6 billion just in the 12 months to September 30, 2024.

While figures for this summer have yet to be released, Experience Gold Coast’s head of visitor economy and corporate relations Rachel Hancock said occupancy rates for this week alone, January 25-31, were sitting 10 per cent up on the same time last year. Those figures don’t even include Air BnBs which have become ever more popular in the city.

“January 26 is sitting at around 70 per cent occupancy, which is up 23 per cent on last year,” she said.

“These are forward bookings, as in people who have already booked, but as we get closer to the date we get loads of last minute bookings which remains the trend post-covid.”

Mr Bell added that some of the greatest advocates for the city have been its southern migrants.

“They all say what a welcoming city we are and what a wonderful experience moving here has been after living in the big cities,” he said.

“We all see the world through our own rose-tinted glasses, but people are not just visiting but relocating here in greater numbers than ever before. They are voting for us with their feet and their money.”

We are all, indeed, entitled to our own opinion. Even Mr Flower and Mr Shapiro.

Too bad they are just plain wrong.