Glitter Strip bartender spills on school leavers’ worst antics during the upheaval of Schoolies

Vodka raspberries, barely-there outfits and the worst pick-up lines ever. A Surfers Paradise bartender on the nightclub strip reveals all about Schoolies patrons. Read her wild and hilarious diary.

I have never made so many vodka raspberries in my life.

The sheer volume of the sugary mixer I poured had my hands stained red by the end of my shift.

Generally a night behind the bar on the Surfers Paradise nightclub strip is a rinse and repeat of the last one; cocktails, pop tracks and bass that leaves my ears ringing.

Starting work at 9.30pm, it usually starts slow - a couple of patrons and the occasional birthday group already on the strobe-lit dancefloor.

But the two weeks of Schoolies is always slightly different.

When I walk in on Saturday night at quarter past nine it is bustling with school uniform-clad teens singing along loudly to Mr Brightside, a song that normally plays much later in the night.

Schoolies 2023 Gallery. Pictured on November 18th 2023. Picture: Ben Clark

After fighting my way through to the bar, I’m immediately bombarded with what seems like a never-ending stream of orders for vodka raspberry and Midori lemonade.

I watched as an unfortunate few birthday party goers’ faces drop as they enter a sea of 18-year-olds while the faces of the Toolies (the older crowd) light up when they see all the young 18-year-old girls in barely-there outfits.

I’m slightly perturbed by the group of teenage boys asking me to drink with them in their hotel rooms, responding with a less-than polite “I couldn’t think of anything worse”. I do say to one particularly insistent group “I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a fork.”

But I was amused by the inexpert demands for ‘strawberry vodkas and even one quickly discouraged request from a boy who wanted “the cheapest drink that will get me f**ked up”.

While I make it a rule not to laugh at the jokes they make, so as to not encourage them, one comment of “Do you come here often?” elicits a small chuckle based on absurdity alone.

Schoolies 2023 Gallery. Pictured on November 18th 2023. Picture: Ben Clark

Just over a year into bartending I know the songs that will evoke screams of excitement from the crowds and this is where Schoolies is no different.

Untouched by the Veronicas and any Pitbull, Ice Spice or Usher song is sure to be met with joyous ‘woos’ from the crowd.

While Schoolies generates a bad rap from residents, Schoolies teens, albeit drunk, have only caused me irritation, at worst.

I, for one, don’t think I will ever stop laughing at their off-key singing and unwarranted confidence on the dancefloor.