We've all seen our parents lose it; what happens next is make or break

COMMENT: "I reserve the right to occasionally be an unreasonable mum; as long as I do one thing afterwards." Please note: sensitive topics

Have you seen the hashtag #pinktotelid trending on TikTok? It sounds strange, but it's destined to become iconic.

It’s become this whole thing where people share their "pink tote lid moment."

It all kicked off with a now-deleted video from user Jaycie, where she recounted an unhinged childhood moment with her mum. They were tidying her room, and she asked her mum for help. Her mum just lost it, screaming at her, “The pink f*ing tote lids, are you f*ing dumb?”  

So yes, it's a core anger memory - with some stories being much more extreme than others.

But users have flocked to the platform to share their own "pink tote lids" moments, and are helping each other with traumas they'd buried from decades ago.

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What is the #PinkToteLid TikTok trend?

This hashtag has taken on a life of its own, with some people sharing extreme stories of parental freak-outs while others keep it light, reminding us that sometimes parents just take out their frustrations on their kids.

One mum shared how she yelled at her kids for not wearing the “right” clothes on a school trip, while another recounted a horrific experience she faced growing up, when her mother’s boyfriend dragged her by the hair through the house.

Image: supplied

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"I broke mum's favourite cheese knife"

I have my own little “pink tote mum” moment: I remember when I accidentally broke one of my mum's favourite cheese knives as a kid. 

She still brings it up, even in recent years. It seemed like such a huge deal back then, but now that I have kids, I get it.

My mum dealt with hormonal migraines and then menopause, which made her emotions a bit of a rollercoaster at times.

Now, I totally get overwhelmed, too, as well as the migraines.

There have been plenty of my own “pink tote mum” moments like yelling at my kids to “STOP FIGHTING!” when they both come running to me, telling their side of the story.

It’s usually the end of the day when we’re all overstimulated, and I’m just wishing for bedtime—for them and for me. 

But honestly, I think as one mum put it, “People get frustrated, but it’s how you handle it in the end that really matters.”

 “Y’all we need to start giving parents a bit of grace,” she says.

She talks about how when she would lose it with her daughter, she would make sure to circle back, chat it out, and apologise.

Explaining that she was just tired or overwhelmed really matters.

"We don't know the whole story"

It’s such a refreshing take compared to some comments I saw on Jaycie’s original video, where people called her parents “toxic” or that she should cut ties with them.

Seriously, we don’t know the whole story.

Maybe her mum had already asked her a million times to help with those “pink things.”

Or maybe it was an extreme overreaction because her mum wasn’t coping that day with anything and took it out on her daughter. 

At the end of the day, parents are human too, and we all have those moments when we snap.

We’re not perfect.

What’s key is how we mend those little outbursts with our kids.

I’ve had a few heart-to-heart apologising sessions with my kids for being a “grumpy mum,” and I hope that’s what sticks with them—learning to repair relationships as they grow, even if you don’t get it right all the time.

Of course, we don’t want any parental freak-outs to go into abuse territory, but I think for most of us, it’s okay to be unreasonable sometimes—as long as we take responsibility and don't let our kids think it was their fault.

Originally published as We've all seen our parents lose it; what happens next is make or break