Pup-nups are a thing and I really wish we had one

"I didn't know I could have protected my (fur) babies Ted and Jack before things got messy."

I’m not the only person I know who shares custody of their dog. 

If I even mention this to an older person (sorry boomers) they usually roar with laughter and then ask if I’m actually serious. 

If I mention my custody arrangements with a younger person, they often tell me that sounds standard.

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Ted and Jack are marriage 'assets'

I’ve had split custody of my dogs for two years, one year since getting divorced. Mine was a little bit of an unusual divorce situation and there was nothing to settle, and no fights to be had.

If there was going to be anything that would have caused be to lawyer up and get fired-up, it would have been over my dogs. 

Meet Ted and Jack. My handsome labradoodles who are 10 and seven. I purchased  them jointly with my ex husband and we raised them together. Well, I mean I was  definitely the primary caregiver, but they were admittedly loved equally. 

I sure as heck wasn’t giving them up, and neither, unfortunately, was my ex. So twice a week we do dog drop off. 

Hi what time can I get the dogs Wednesday? 

Is 7am ok? 

Ok, thanks 

That’s pretty much the convo twice a week. We do a quick handover with the dogs going nuts in the background and that’s that. 

Image: Supplied

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"I want to see my dogs, so I suffer through handover"

Trust me, I don’t want to see my ex twice a week.

It’s beyond infuriating when he has  fallen ‘asleep’ again and isn’t answering the door. But I do want to see my dogs and I’ll suffer through a few moments of  discomfort for the joy these two fur bags give me. 

My work week is scheduled around my dog days. One of them has poodle-level  anxiety and doesn’t like being alone. One of them barks his head off at the electric postie carts. I’ll let you work out which angel is which. I adjust my work hours on my  dog days accordingly.  

After all, these guys don’t have a huge amount of years left and I want to embrace all  of that glorious fluff and tail wags before I need to whip out the dog mum pram. Yes,  I will be getting a dog pram when my dogs get older, I’ve already googled them. 

I count myself lucky. Unlike children, pets are considered assets in a divorce. Assets? Of course my dogs are assets to my life, but they surely aren’t property.

According to Australian Family Lawyers, dogs are dealt with in the same way one  might consider the family car, and asking who purchased it, whose name is it in and  who maintains it helps determine who owns the assets. 

I mean I know people name their cars, but how can a living, breathing animal with a  personality way bigger than mine be put in the same category as a CAR? Wild. 

Image: Supplied

Cover yourself with a pup-nup

There’s around 28.7 million breathing assets in Australia according to the latest  stats. And with the divorce rate in this country hovering around 30%, that’s a whole  lot of paperwork and dog division. 

But there’s one way to protect yourself in the case of splitsville: the pup-nup. Yep,  you can have a puppy pre-nup drawn up before marriage to outline who gets the dog  in the case of divorce. 

You can also have a Binding Financial Agreement that outline what to do with your  assets for the end of a marriage or de facto situation. 

And if I get married all over again? Sign me up, Rover.

Originally published as Pup-nups are a thing and I really wish we had one