Now my stepdaughter's an adult, I want to confess I'm in love with her

"I’m just a stupid old man thinking this way, but I can’t help it. I can honestly say I’m in love with her."

The internet is a weird place, but it's not every day that you stumble across an advice column that leaves you literally squirming in your seat. 

Yet that was the case when one of the latest Dear Abby letters was sent to The New York Post, which made readers highly uncomfortable and received a short, cutting response from Abby herself. 

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"My feelings are so strong, I would even marry her"

The letter, from an anonymous man signing off as "Loving Her", detailed how his paternal feelings for his stepdaughter had taken an inappropriate turn once she became an adult.

He explains that he has known his stepdaughter 'Kendra' since she was four years old.

He’s now 59, she’s 36, and she has her own family, an eight-year-old son and her boyfriend, who is the father.

Despite no longer being married to Kendra’s mother, he says they have a long-standing friendship which has allowed him to maintain his relationship with Kendra over the years. 

"For some reason, over the past four months, my feelings for Kendra have grown into an infatuation," he admits.

"I mean, I have always loved her, but now I wish I was with her. I want to be with her. My feelings are so strong, I would even marry her. I know she loves me, but I doubt in the way I love her now."

Yep, you read that right. This man, who has long been a father figure in Kendra's life, is now having romantic feelings towards her. 

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"I don’t want to destroy what we have, but it’s killing me that I can’t be with her," he shares.

"I have jealous feelings like a kid. I love her very much and would never do anything to hurt her.

"I guess I’m just a stupid old man thinking this way, but I can’t help it. I can honestly say I’m in love with her. I am confused about what I need to do."

Image: IStock

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"Seek a licensed psychotherapist"

In a response that gets straight to the point, Abby bluntly replies: "What happened four months ago that changed your feelings about Kendra from the paternal ones you have felt for the last 32 years? If you express to her the (lustful) feelings you are harbouring, you will blow the entire family apart."

She then suggests that an appropriate place to examine his feelings would be a licensed psychotherapist's office.

"Please don’t wait," she concludes. 

"How in the world do you fall in lust with someone you knew as a child?"

Commenters vehemently agreed with her that this was a line that should never be crossed.

The first comment read: "Dear Loving Her, have you been taking lessons from Woody Allen? I'm not sure I believe any details of your letter. When I was teaching in an alternative school, I learned that the most dangerous person in many kids' lives was mum's new boyfriend or mum's new husband.

"It went right along with my personal experience. My guess is that she is quite a bit younger than 36, but maybe I'm wrong. Either way, what makes you think a 36-year-old wants to be with an elderly man? Find someone your own age."

"I can't image how I would respond," another woman replied. "How in the world do you fall in lust with someone you knew as a child?"

"[He] has a case of Old Man Syndrome. He feels better and younger when looking at the face of a young woman, his ex's daughter, instead of looking at the face of an old woman, his ex.  Tale as old as time.

"He needs to leave Kendra alone and find a younger woman anywhere else."

Originally published as Now my stepdaughter's an adult, I want to confess I'm in love with her