I pay a babysitter to do school mornings - it’s the best money I’ve ever spent

“I tried to get everything ready the night before to ease the stress in the morning, but nothing was working,” the Newcastle mum tells Kidspot.

Josephine Agostino

3 min read

June 30, 2023 - 12:08PM

Parenting

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When Linda separated from her partner and father of her son, Andon, she anticipated there would be an adjustment period as they settled into their new life as a family-of-two.

But for the Newcastle mum and her then 10-year-old, nothing could have prepared them for just how challenging the simple act of getting ready for school would become.

For Andon, his parents’ split came at around the same time as COVID lockdowns were ending, which caused his anxiety to escalate beyond anything his mother had ever seen -the worst of it being in the mornings.

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"He was worried about me after drop off"

“There would be meltdowns while he was doing simple things like getting dressed,” Linda tells Kidspot.

“But it wasn’t about that, it was about what that meant - that he was leaving me, and he was constantly worried something was going to happen to me after I dropped him off.

"No matter how much I reassured him, it wasn’t rational. It would make the routine go longer. He would get frustrated and I would get frustrated. It was a highly emotional time that didn’t set either of us up for good days.”

While Andon only ever missed one day of school due to his separation anxiety, Linda admits many drop offs became increasingly challenging.

“There would be mornings where I would need to have the school chaplain get him from the car because he was so upset,” the 48-year-old remembers.

“But once he was there, he was always okay. The school was very supportive.”

In addition to Andon receiving help from a psychologist, Linda attempted various methods to make mornings less stressful.

“I tried so many different things, like having everything ready the night before,” the self-employed single mum explains.

“I got him up earlier to allow more time, or put his favourite music on, and have breakfast in the car. None of it made a difference. I knew something had to change.”

Linda and Andon. Image: supplied

"It cost $25 a day"

Taking inspiration from the Cool Kids program, Linda decided to take a small step to help treat Andon’s separation anxiety by changing the dynamic in her home.

For her, that was removing herself completely from the morning school routine.

For just over 12 months when Andon was in years five and six, Linda employed a local babysitter for one hour to get her son to school, three mornings a week during school terms, at a cost of $25 per day.

“The reason I needed to take myself out of the equation is because I’m his safe place,” she says.

“When I’m around, emotions can run high and that’s fine, but it didn’t need to be in the morning when we both had to start our day. I fully acknowledged why he was anxious about being separated from me, but I knew we had to try to get over it.

"We talked about it and how it would be a manageable challenge for him. If he wasn’t on board, then it wouldn’t have worked.”

Image: supplied

"The difference was instant"

Each morning, Linda would leave for work at 8am after sorting Andon’s lunch and school bag the night before, and tag team with the babysitter, who would supervise during breakfast time, feed the family’s pets, spend some time interacting with Andon and then drop him to school.

The difference, she says, was instantaneous.

“I would spend half an hour with Andon before I left and he was totally fine with me going to work without him in the car, so there wasn’t any of that usual stress,” she says.

“He was a little nervous and would watch me drive out of the driveway, but there were none of those big emotions that we had if I was taking him to school. It was definitely worth the money.”

This past year, with Andon in year 7, Linda thankfully hasn’t needed the use of a babysitter at all.

Each morning, Linda drops her son to the bus stop without any issue whatsoever.

“He’s matured and we also did a lot of work together to move past the separation anxiety,” she says happily.