My wife refuses to take my demerit points from a recent speeding fine

"I know it's illegal, and the kids need her, but why can't she suck it up and take one for the team?" the irate Melbourne dad tells Kidspot.

I confess I’ve had a few speeding fines in my time.

 

They’ve never been huge – mostly just in the low range, so less than 10kmph over the limit but enough to add up over the years and to take a decent-sized hit at my demerit point total.

While I’ll admit to this, I am not saying that I am a bad driver. In fact, I’d argue the opposite.

It’s just that across all the hours I’m on the road, which is a lot for my work as a tradie, means statistically, being over the speed limit by 10 kmph here or there, especially on a highway or main road with a higher speed limit, is more likely for me than say my wife who walks to work.

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'I've got one point left'

So, over the past couple of years, I have been nabbed a few times, which means that along with the fines, my demerit points have been gradually eroding. But over a long weekend recently when double demerit points were in use and I was caught driving 12kmph over the speed limit, it meant that in one fell swoop, or in this case, an accidental heavy foot on the accelerator, I received a hefty fine and lost six points.

Embarrassingly, this leaves me with a grand total of one point and very close to losing my licence.

When I received the notice in the mail, to say I was angry was an understatement. Yes, I was angry at myself of course. But I was also angry that these stupid points stay off for three years and all I have is one remaining, one that could accidentally be lost with any minor offence.

And if that happened, well, I’d be screwed professionally.

Knowing this, I did what I thought was a pretty straightforward thing, I asked my wife if I could nominate her as the driver and she could take the points instead. I know that my wife has never lost any points (probably because I am always driving) and I figured it wouldn’t matter to her in the scheme of things.

But straightforward it was not.

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"As if I'd asked her to murder someone"

When I asked my wife, she not only said no (a firm no at that) but she tore through me as if I had asked her to say she murdered someone in order to protect me.

So, not only was I told, “no”, but I was then lectured about my situation and what I had asked her to do as well.

She told me that it was my fault for receiving the fines and points, so it should be my responsibility to deal with the repercussions. She said it was a “lesson I needed to learn.”

When I explained that having one point could mean I lose my licence and not be able to work, something I thought she would understand, she said to me, “You should have thought about that earlier.”

She added that the kids need her on the weekends to drive them to activities.

While I understand what she’s trying to do, and yes, point taken, ultimately, if I lose my licence and can't drive, I can't work, and this will impact her too.

Despite this and despite telling her this, she remained headstrong and said no, adding that taking someone’s demerit points when you weren’t the nominated driver is also illegal and she wasn’t okay with that either.

"Why can't she suck it up?"

From my point of view, I just don’t understand why she can't suck it up and take one for the team. Isn’t that what we are? How does proving a silly point really help either of us in this situation? I mean is it really that unreasonable of a request?

Ultimately, arguing wasn’t worth it (which in this situation is saying something), so I “did the right thing” (as she would say) and paid the fine and watched on as my points vanished.

Now, I'm driving around town like a grandpa.

Originally published as My wife refuses to take my demerit points from a recent speeding fine